No thank you, Mr Blumhouse. I do not accept.

I vaguely remember Blumhouse being involved in the Craft "Reboot/Sequel". I was hoping it'd die the way the Heathers sequel was always destined to fail. I'll never watch the mess of the Heathers series reboot. And I highly doubt I'll stomach this piece of shit called The Craft: Legacy.

Slapping the word Legacy on a title doesn't make it cool by default. The trailer basically makes the girls look like hippy fairies waving their fingers around with flickers of light. And a picture of Nancy just looking like Nancy, which is basically a screenshot from the original printed on a fucking Polaroid, NOBODY TOOK A PICTURE OF HER LOOKING LIKE THAT. I LOVE how reboots use PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL for their "PHOTOS" of the old cast. And hoping for more Easter eggs will be a fucking waste of time. This is basically Blade Runner all over again, nods to the original few and far between. Giving the script to a woman would make sense if the idea of a girl getting picked on for getting her period in class wasn't a mess of a concept some teenage boy would write. Somehow the original writers being male didn't prevent the original movie from being heralded as a goddamn feminist masterpiece (I disagree) but they achieved this along with an actual practicing Wiccan in Fairuza Balk, who lent her knowledge and managed to give a degree of "authenticity" to the movie. We don't see magic fairy dust emanating from anyone's fingertips, Jesus even that piece of shit fluffy nonsense Practical Magic was more realistic and that had a shit story and shittier special effects. The illusions are supposed to look real, glamours are meant to look REAL. That fireball in the shop, yes it looks shit but at least it's supposed to be real fire.

Nobody asked for this monstrosity and again, here we are with nothing new or interesting to show for it. Blumhouse's business model of hits and misses obviously keeps the lights on and gets them accolades they probably don't deserve overall. But then one of the writer/directors of Dumb and Dumber has an Oscar. Get Out's a great movie, I can claim to have enjoyed Happy Death Day. But they've been around since 2006, way longer than I realised. They're doing a remake of the Thing. That'll be like the third one?? They were behind BlacKkKlansman, which was good but heavyhanded with its stereotyping. I just don't support them putting their grubby fingers on the Craft for any reason. Sorry.

If it is any good and gets good reviews, I still don't think I can watch it. Even with David Duchovny as the dad. Sorry, Sarah's dad was lovable and funny. There's nothing wrong with the movie. It's just another title, another cult you can cash in on for no good reason. Why couldn't COVID come in time to trash this production? It's trashed its release instead and that's possibly good enough, I guess. it not getting a theatrical release is fine they probably knew it wouldn't do well with concerned audiences in the middle of social distancing. I sure as shit wouldn't pay to see this in a theatre. I spend more time trashing this and the first film's shooting script here.

And I would've seen the original had I been older at the time, or more willing to sit in a theatre with a parent.