Revisting the Peaks...

A combination of following Twin Peaks fan insta pages and seeing Richard Horne on the Witcher the last week led me to revisit the Peaks. I was hesitant for a while but it felt right when I was running out of YouTube videos and didn't want to get into something new.

I won't go on about my love of this show too much, I have elsewhere, here mostly. And off and on, in various posts. I even forgot there was talk of the Return getting binned because Lynch wasn't going to be involved and if that were the case, nobody wanted a bar of it. Him deciding otherwise led to my last viewing, and honestly, I don't think I've seen this through more than ten times. I also decided how much others needed to see, so I'm the asshole who won't let you watch season 2 in its entirety because of a few pointless, irritating storylines. But I see now I've been kinda unfair about most of them. Save 2. So I'll just go over why I was wrong for each one.

James and Evelyn: This was the show at peak soap. James leaving town and getting embroiled with a dissatisfied rich housewife who needs someone to frame for her husband's murder, I always skipped over this because I thought it was painfully cheesy. It's not. It gets a bit dull and stupid with the "brother" accomplice of Evelyn's, and I thought Donna coming in to save James was over-dramatic. It wasn't, it's not the worst thing, I watched it through again and I didn't hate it, James isn't awful, Evelyn isn't a total trope, just the "brother". James brings up Laura, since we're at the point where we're playing "hey, remember why we used to watch this show", most of James's actions are formed by Laura's death. But him leaving isn't a waste of time to watch. It's fine.

Audrey, Ben and the South: Ben's mental breakdown after being released from jail and losing Ghostwood to Catherine, it's hilarious and I thought it sucked, but it really doesn't, it's a good dose of comedic relief, you get a funny Wizard of Oz moment, Ben's great as General Lee. Bobby's bugle is funny, even if Bobby's being a dick by then. I had more fun watching it. Audrey plays Jerry (Yeah, Ben and Jerry is a funny thing) and she's making smart moves to protect Ben and the company. Bobby and Audrey have a good moment of chemistry, they definitely seem suited but it's obviously to make you believe Bobby might cheat on Shelley. It's worth sitting through. I had fun.

Nadine and Mike: Glossing over how unhealthy it is in reality they're letting Nadine go to high school and date Mike (as much as it is Jacoby letting Ben believe he's about to win the Civil War), Nadine's actually less obnoxious as a teenager, and her stuff with Mike is fucking hilarious. Again, it's good comic relief. She beats up Hank, who's kind of pointless by now, it just sucks by the end she regains her memory and splits up Norma and Ed. (Never mind about them crazy kids, they make it in the end). It makes me giggle.

Audrey and John Wheeler: Billy Zane. In his element. I love him with Audrey, I hate they don't make it. I hate what happens to Audrey in the end. She's such a strong character I don't know why Sherilyn Fenn got the raw end of the Return deal.

MT Wentz: Fuck that shit. I put up with it this time because it doesn't suck but it's also not good. Norma has nothing better to do so her mother has to come into town and needlessly shame her, bringing her crook husband whom Norma doesn't give a shit about despite him and Hank teaming up (some of the Coop drug bust stuff gets kinda boring but it's not skippable, plus Denise Bryson, I mean really. It's all good). But the conceit of the food reviewer coming to town is a lot of padding, and means we also have to suffer through Piper Laurie in yellow face a la Micky Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's. I sit through that but it's so fucking bad.

Bobby, Shelley and Leo: Most of that's funnier than I remember too. Bobby turning into a jerk kinda makes sense, Leo being a vegetable is a riot. He gets screwed later with Windom. I chuckle more watching it now. Also as a side note, I used to think Bobby's talk with Major Briggs about that dream was cheesy crap too but I appreciate it more. Bobby's a great character. I'm more bummed than ever about him and Shelley just not making it, and Shelley learning nothing in the long run. Oh, and they're the same age, she was a dropout. I just had it in my head she was older because she doesn't really look 18 and she was married. Her fighting with Bobby and running off with Leo kinda makes sense as it's detailed in the Dossier, but I don't believe it.

So what can't I abide?

1) The Milford brothers bullshit and that redhead. It's insufferable, it's set up at Leland's wake, but it's just absolutely pointless. It really exists as filler and you can skip it all without any consequence as to what's going on, aside from the redhead demanding she win Miss Twin Peaks (I tend to skip the chunks she's in during that section as well), she's really just absolute background noise, and any scene she's in where all the men fawn over her isn't funny enough to give this shit a pass. The Mitchem Brothers were at least somewhat entertaining. So, you can actually safely ignore/skip all that and be fine.

2) The Lucy, Dick and Andy show with Little Nicky. Jesus, this is absolutely the fucking worst thing. The guy from Quantum Leap (Dick) is easily the worst character in the show. You can't remotely give a shit about him and he sticks around way past his welcome to get involved in Miss Twin Peaks too. Prior to all this, Lucy's sister Gwen is basically the shark the show jumps because she comes in right when things go bad for season 2. Soon as she's on screen I reach for the remote, and I keep it close by as soon as Dick comes on screen. Basically once the kid shows up I have no interest in that shit. By all means if you want to endure this bollocks for the sake of Lucy learning who her baby daddy should be and Andy being a "whole damn town", go ahead. But if you're watching with me, you're missing me with that shit.

Stuff like Josie and Andrew isn't that terrible. I like Josie more than I used to. I don't think Joan Chen gets enough credit. She and Harry smoulder on screen, I love them as a couple and I hate she dies. When it turns into the Andrew, Catherine and Pete show with that stupid key again it's tiresome but worth watching. Josie's great up until she has the heart attack then it's a bit overwrought, and we get reminded about Bob because that thread's gotten lost again even if Windom's linked to the Black Lodge. Running theories are Josie winds up there because she's trapped in the drawer handle, which may be linked to the Lodge. I don't know.

I used to think Harold's storyline was kinda crap (having a pretty Blu-ray also means you have to see the red paint on the garden hoe he scratches his face with, so there's something to be said for grainy shitty VHS and what it hides. Digitising all the shows is a nice idea in theory, Dan was right, people filming TV before DVDs never considered people actually ever wanting to watch this shit ever again). So much of what I thought was terrible really isn't. The pilot is fucking amazing, just watching it recently I forgot how much was set up and how effective it was. I don't think I've skipped more than half an hour's worth of show, really. I'm looking forward to rewatching the Return, which I've only seen two times I think. I wanted the Bluray player so I could keep watching Fire Walk With Me.

The thread with Ben and Donna getting completely dropped in the Return kinda annoys me. Ben doesn't even have a dent on his head, Doc Hayward shows up on a conference call with the new Sheriff. I don't appreciate that stuff's just ignored. James somehow has less to do. We never see Donna again but her sister suddenly matters (she affects Shelley's daughter's marriage to the dropkick Stephen, apparently she had a nervous breakdown). I might come back and go over what I can't deal with in the Return, because there is stuff I thought was bad. I have to remind myself a lot the show really is done in the style of a daytime soap despite it being a prime time show.

I'm well into the Return and it's better in some aspects than I remember, I think Donna's absence means there's little point to dealing with the fact Ben Horne's her dad and not Doc Hayward, and maybe Audrey kinda being persona nongrata is another way of saying, none of that mattered. It was probably supposed to matter in the theoretical third season of the original we never saw, but I genuinely hated what they did with Audrey, like there was some truth to the rumor Fenn wasn't a welcome inclusion on the show when Audrey's a memorable character in her own right, (and according to Fenn, Mulholland Drive is supposed to be about Audrey going to LA to pursue an acting career). The Return is really what Lynch wanted us to experience, what his vision for the show was when the network demanded it be more "normal" I guess. (Having said this, the four hour analysis I watched by one guy and his "God of Light" theory is actually pretentious and a bit over the top, I was following his threads to begin with but once it got to this point I couldn't stick around).

But I don't see much point in the flashbacks involving Bob and Cooper when avid fans of the show are well aware, and I never considered this to be a casual watcher's kind of show when the Return happened, it's very much for the fans. You get a chance to see some of the Missing Pieces from FWWM, but it seems like pointless filler. The streaming service I used did have the movie available with the original show, it's not impossible to find, and the Missing Pieces box set was a big release most avid fans would own.

The black and white shots are so detailed and deliberately disturbing, they seem more detailed and interesting for their lack of colour. I like the concept of the Black Lodge being a result of the atom bomb, where all evil truly begins, when you have to recall the world Lynch grew up in. By now, you wouldn't be on board if you didn't "get" Lynch, and he is not for everyone and never claimed to be. But I disliked the final showdown with Bob and Cooper so maybe this time around I'll appreciate it. Naomi Watts's character isn't so hammy, she's pretty great. Ashley Judd's character seems a touch pointless, unless she's here to prove Ben's a born womaniser. Pete and Catherine are gone, James kinda hangs out like a drifter (he's some delivery driver or something) and Shelley's suddenly defending him. I despise Shelley ends up dating another Leo and leaves Bobby, their daughter's husband is a dropkick (and another Leo) but their whole train wreck of a relationship illustrates the ill going on in Twin Peaks. Philip Jeffries is a tea kettle (RIP David Bowie). We get 1 giant and no dwarf (he's now just a neuron tree with a weird head and another doppleganger) We meet Diane but she's not really real. She's definitely not who I pictured her to be but I love she's played by Laura Dern, as a badmouthed, drunk, corrupted character who's a victim of Mr C and also an accomplice of his by way of being a manufactured doppleganger.

I reached the most intolerable scene, which I think is the only one, involving the random kid who shoots a gun in a car and causes the traffic jam. It's drawn out and irritating with the car horn and the woman with the vomiting zombie kid, the woman screaming at Bobby over shit that doesn't matter while the zombie kid pukes. I endured it until the last few moments and it's the final scene before the credits. There are scenes you can fast forward on rewatch since they have that classic Lynch style dragging out before the story can continue, I'm up to the scene with the French girl taking too long to leave the room and yeah, I'm too lazy to reach for the remote but it's tedious. Also, you have to put up with five minutes of some janitor sweeping peanut shells at the Road House before the remaining Renault brother answers the phone. Oh, I remembered Billy's ugly, bleeding face also makes me sick so I'll probably skip it too, that scene's kinda tedious as well. (I didn't skip it but it's annoying with the eyeless chick sounding like a monkey bird and Billy repeating the bad cop's insults. Also, why does anyone care where the fuck Billy is? He's an ugly-ass drunk with a bloody, weeping face). Then there's the matter of Charlie and Audrey's scenes playing out in a kind of nonsensical dialogue involving one way phone conversations to leave us and Audrey hanging. I don't know if Audrey's impatience is representative of the audience's impatience. Sarah watching the glitched out boxing match with the repetitive horn in the background gets grating too. Also the scene with Cole's hearing aid giving obnoxious feedback while a dog barks. Honestly, if you weren't prepared for this as a casual watcher, you'd be so confused/bored by all this.

Character wise, Tammy's probably the least likeable. I think the actress is a singer usually, very pretty but not good at acting at all. I think she has a certain look Lynch wanted. Cole's French woman's a little redundant too. You could say the same of the Mitcham Bros trio of Vegas showgirls but the one who speaks the most is actually not bad, and their scenes are kinda funny. 

Sarah's finally succumbing to the madness, I kinda like she was this conduit to the Black Lodge but they don't take it anywhere really conclusive. She's basically the town kook on a bigger level, now she's ripping off people's faces in bars. Carl's back at the Fat Trout trailer park which seems closer to Twin Peaks than Wind River, and he's not so cantankerous, (RIP Harry Dean Stanton), I always liked his character in FWWM there was some heart to him. Albert's back (RIP Miguel Ferrer), still with the sarcasm but not a total prick. The most tragic scenes are with Margaret the Log Lady (RIP Catherine E. Coulson) who performs her nearly bald, on an oxygen tank, in a scene where she's saying her last goodbye to Dept. Hawk, and it's fucking sad as hell. Richard's a good antagonist, played by Eamon Farren, he makes really stupid decisions while tracking down Mr C. Jennifer Jason Lee and Tim Roth make for fun, goofy hired assassins/Mr C groupies.

The musical credits were pretty good, I like they were a platform for performers but they also felt like a way to pad out the episodes. The exception in terms of music choices really is "Audrey's Dance", which is the name of her song on the soundtrack, so it becomes a weird meta-narrative nod to the original series. And given what we see with Audrey might very well be another dream within a dream, it's a strange inclusion to me, and really where her whole arc falls down.

I like the show acknowledges other people live in Twin Peaks and have problems like gnarly rashes and addiction, and boyfriends named Billy who hurl themselves drunkenly into fences and shit but seem to be utterly irresistible people worthy of obsession. Plus you got the crooked cop working at the station stealing letters for Richard Horne.

All the stuff in Vegas is pretty entertaining overall. I'm not a Dougie hater FYI. The wife makes awful coffee, I get that now. I like Cooper leaves a New Dougie behind to keep her happy, it's bittersweet to see some version of him living a normal life he accepts he himself cannot.  Except the FBI in Vegas that's all weird. And I have trouble tracking all the threads relating to Dougie's gambling and the insurance fraud, Tupla Dougie is really stupid himself, he's somehow managed to get himself in hot water despite his imbecilic nature,  so any threat to him is a threat to Coop.

Okay, so my issue with the showdown is really the Brit with the green glove punching the Bob Ball more or less into hell, twice. It's not as comical as I remember, it's an odd way to introduce an unrelated character to the town, you can never say if Lynch planned this from the start or what, you'd assume so. But Freddy's the hero. Least in terms of defeating Bob. We haven't definitively defeated the evil, that's Laura's job. Cooper's on an odyssey at this point, Laura being the key to all this. Again we get some of the missing pieces with a ret con: What did Laura scream at in the woods that night? It was Coop all along. But in essence, would you call this padding? It has to be a ret con, Laura's scream had to have a trigger, whatever was in Lynch's mind 25 odd years ago might not be what's there in 2017. The scream's not in the shooting script, maybe it was something done on set. But seeing Cooper try to free Laura really got to me. That it doesn't fix everything is a tragedy. Basically the ending makes much more sense if you accept Laura had to die, Sarah's clearly still fucked up, Coop's assumption's wrong, he's somehow ended up in the wrong timeline/dimension. If there's supposed to be more (I can't say if there will be, it's doubtful everything's speculative), maybe we would see what happens to the woman Coop's taken "home". It feels more conclusive to say Cooper was wrong. The fact he's left the Lodge is satisfying but this notion his job's not done because Laura is meant to be saved, it's like saying the audience is naive for loving her enough to want her to live. Bob didn't claim her, he took Coop but they beat him anyway, Coop got free, which is what we've all wanted since that final frame from the original series. On third inspection, I'm pretty happy with the whole Return. Some characters grew and changed, some didn't, such is life. Maybe the most disappointing is we don't really discover Annie's fate beyond Judy taking the ring. According to the wiki (which is basically from the books released later, as far as I can tell) that Milford tart gets the title now Annie's not well. Of course I missed that what she said to Laura in her dream to write about her and Dale in the diary is in the pages found later in the Return, Heather Graham expressed interest but wasn't asked to come back, which I'd take to suggest Lynch didn't have a long term plan for her beyond FWWM, which kinda sucks considering who she was to Coop. The dossier's said to be compiled by Tammy, honestly I would like to sit down and go through it properly, it's actually pretty dense and involved, it's easier to use as a reference guide than an actual narrative work.

About Cooper and Diane, I wound up looking for info on what their sex scene was supposed to represent, aside from it being a throwback/reference to the moment Laura discovers who Bob is. Given Diane's traumatised by Mr C raping her, having to sleep with Coop seems overly traumatic too. Lynch made the suggestion they'd been romantic in the past and only Cole knew about it, and Lynch has claimed Diane is an older version of the character from Blue Velvet. Maybe he's romanticised that one relationship between those characters and wanted to revive it, Dern had a say in how she was portrayed overall, which I like. I always pictured Diane to be a mousier version of Tammy, with less suggestive pencil skirts and business jackets, beige hosiery, sensible shoes. So I like she's not who I imagined, and Dern seemed right for the part. (I've seen one person assume Diane was Coop's tape recorder, which cracked me up and infuriated me).

I think the Return is what we deserved out of season 2 and what we should've gotten. I agree while it's broken down into episodes, it plays more like a movie. I don't think we have a right to complain about what we got anymore. We're done, I think to ask for more right now is kind of selfish on the part of the fans, you can hope all you want but seriously, if the one person you trust to a series says it's run its course, you have to trust the story's been told. He treats each project the same despite the format, so we were extremely lucky to receive the Return presented the way it was considering it may have become a disaster. I'm happy for it to be put to bed as is. 

 

 

Venting about: Region Codes

Short story: Region codes are bullshit. Long story: I have struggled to really get my point across about how fucking bullshit they are. Because most people (not all) I know didn't tend to watch a lot of foreign and/or indie films, they weren't ever stuck with a bunch of region 1 DVDs, like I am. Also, my impatience led me to ordering several DVDs of movies I loved from the US rather than waiting the however many months or years it would take at that point to finally get a region 4 version in Australia. The other nightmare associated with this is if a not so popular US or international series came out on DVD here, they'd release 1-2 seasons, not factor in people who wanted a box set and were refusing to buy a third of what they wanted because they assumed the box set would come out,  until the distribution companies refused to release the remaining seasons due to poor sales of the first seasons. So I might have News Radio seasons 1-2 on region 4 but the rest are all stuck on region 1. And that's JUST my DVD issue.

Enter the BluRay problem: Okay there's only 3 regions but go fuck yourself if you want an actual multi-region BluRay player that works straight out the box. I was on the look out for a region free player for years and refused to pay around 300 bucks for one. Maybe if I had, I wouldn't have encountered the same problem with the 89.00 one I picked up today in the hope I wouldn't have to fuck around with any codes or locks. I was wrong, and I knew deep down, I'd be wrong. If you ever see one advertised as "region free or multi-region" it's not entirely a lie, but it's not the absolute truth. It can "support" all the BluRay regions if you're willing to fuck around with it. I don't understand how these are still being manufactured with separate functions to force the player to do what it should just do automatically, but after some bullshitting and realising I have to use HDMI or else (which is fine), the fucking thing decided to work. 

I had this argument with a fucker in Harvey Norman many years ago and I refused to accept a DVD player that had to be coded to accept other regions. That player is getting old and I really wanted to replace it one day but I didn't want another DVD player. A BluRay player has more flexibility, at least with most discs, but when it comes to that archaic bullshit region locking issue, you're just not "allowed" to have a machine that works automatically. You've bought a multi-region DVD player that you have to "jimmy" to make it play other BluRay regions, and you have to keep changing it back to make it do what you want depending on the disc. And there's a function you can change countries but that has absolutely nothing to do with the region codes themselves, so even that's password protected for no fucking reason because it seems to make no fucking difference to anything.

I also decided to go back to watching Twin Peaks so either I just use my DVDs like I was doing, or I "jimmy" it back to region B (in this case 2). It's something I have to ultimately live with. I'd like to just watch the BluRays I have without having to muck around with hidden settings they can't just legally fucking give you as part of the actual interface.

You go through this BS and this is all while you're thinking this is what I get for trying to do the right thing and not steal every fucking movie I want. End of the day, physical media has to exist if you want a copy of what you like forever. I would have watched Twin Peaks on Stan but it's gone now, all of it, including the Return, which they had exclusive rights to. And you can think, oh, maybe one day it'll come back. Doesn't mean it won't disappear again.

This is how much shit people go through just to watch a fucking movie. And now I'm finally about to get one particular movie on BluRay, hopefully as it's not locked, I won't have issues dealing with it.

Mindbending films that don't bend my mind so much

I'm not going to go into the plot of a movie called Predestination. It's based around a paradox and I struggle with some factors of time travel movies. They should've stopped at Terminator 2 and never made the Sarah Connor "Somebody left the portal door open" Chronicles. I refuse to acknowledge the other films. But Predestination wasn't a badly made Australian film. It just had a stupid (in my head) premise that impresses people who find that stuff so complex and deep. I thought it was cringey and the concept of a character falling in love with the opposite gender representation of themselves who turns out to be them, was made stupider for the fact it was "dark" when they had sex and they didn't recognise themselves. The make up is done badly enough it's not realistic that this female character wouldn't recognise the male version of herself. Plus she's set up as an intersex person, so I guess the whole concept of them creating themselves by falling in love with themselves just made me cringe. The plot's designed to follow the very concept of predestination whereby all the main characters are the same person. So it has to function around this, the plot with the bomber is intrinsically linked to the plot of the character John, despite both threads seeming unrelated. But I wasn't satisfied by discovering this twist. Long story short, all I could think of for a tagline was "Go fuck yourself. Literally." You don't really know the motivation of this person other than they're stuck in a loop. Plus I have a weird issue with hybrid Australian/American productions that have mixed casts with Aussies doing bad American accents. I still argue the Matrix is hindered by the Australian factor, I couldn't convince people how necessary they were to the "deal" to film here. I kinda liked Daybreakers but I haven't bothered to watch it again. They're not badly made films production wise, it was just the element of someone not realising they'd had relations with someone else who looked like them, that was the part that broke my brain. It wasn't like they really made the character look more masculine because they were intersex.

I'm probably being unfair it was just something that stuck in my craw.

I'm sorry, but your album for divorced wine moms doesn't vibe with me

I'm becoming guilty of just buying albums of singers/bands that I don't really bother to listen to, because I've always bought their physical media for the sake of collecting them despite them going untouched now. I could put them on a PS3 but now I use my phone and a bluetooth speaker. Technically this is a better arrangement for the artist because I'm now buying two different versions of one album, so more money for them, but the issue is I'm not really listening to the CD either. I got bummed out They Might Be Giants have released so much material, not including side/solo projects, for me to ever listen to and absolutely love and appreciate.

Any new musician/band I like now I buy the digital version since it's something I can have immediately, at a decent quality. I probably won't get physical copies of the new Garbage or Halsey albums. I admittedly only like 2 albums and a bunch of B-sides by Garbage, and Halsey's new record just happened to be more my vibe than Tori's or Garbage's. I didn't fully get into Fetch the Bolt Cutters either. All of these are just ending up on playlists on shuffle so I'm not "experiencing" any of them as intended. I thought I was into Gods and Masters but there are songs on there I keep skipping for being too depressing, even for me.

And I keep skipping the tracks from Tori's Ocean to Ocean. I heard the last song Birthday Baby while out walking and my brain just couldn't handle listening to another dirge about a jilted woman. Between that and Adele giving us more of the same theme, (and she still gets praise for it, I'm like fucking why? Are you not sick of her exploring her relationship failures yet?), I cannot say I'm here for the "soundtracks to your divorce" genre. Even with Tori, she's still married but persistently explores the idea of being divorced or failing in her marriage. Like if you didn't know any better, you'd say Night of Hunters was her divorce album, the way we assume Lemonade signified the near-demise of Beyonce's marriage via infidelity. You can play with those concepts whether they happened or not, but why did I love Lemonade more than Ocean to Ocean? Halsey's new record's supposed to be about being pregnant but lyrically you don't get that impression. The Nine Inch Nails aesthetic added to it sucked me in but the lyrics kept me there, the hooks were good, the themes were still clicking with me, we suffer from the same illness but she's gone darker with it, I get the struggle despite being out of that space. And Adele's younger than me, so I can't say this is middle aged sad bastard music for women because she's like just turned 30, and I'm nearly 40. She suffers from horrible social anxiety, did she write about that instead? Because I don't think she did. She wrote a Bond song, but so did Garbage and Billie Eilish. Just glancing over an article from Adele, the songs mentioned were all about new relationships after the deterioration of an old one. You don't have anything else? Really? Well, it's selling like nobody's business regardless, even though I haven't heard her constantly like before, when she was on every damn cafe and supermarket radio. Like if we're getting CDs named after her current age is it going to be like this when she releases "50"?

I don't think I have an album that's in line with where I'm at right now. You can be in a stable relationship and still enjoy a good breakup song, but I'm also not a single mother struggling with a breakup whereby I need a funeral song for a divorce. I like Adele as a person, I think her sense of humor is wonderful, I still love Tori as a person I'm just too far from who I was when the music clicked with me. Choirgirl was so much more darker and spoke about a miscarriage but maybe that pain felt universal, I still love it. I think Halsey can be socially tone deaf but I was really into Badlands for some reason. Fiona's vibe remains very similar but her music becomes more "her" as time goes on, which I love more. I don't demand these people make albums for me. But I reserve my right to an opinion that it's not for me.

I know I should really give the new Tori album like a proper going over, I keep listening to random tracks and really liking the scope of songs sonically but lyrically my brain isn't into it. I like to go over lyrics when I'm learning songs and there's teeth in some of it but emotionally I keep shrugging. Stuff like: 

There are those who don't give a goddamn
That we're near mass extinction
There are those who never give a goddamn
For anything that they are breaking
There arе those who only give a goddamn
For the profit that thеy're making

To me just doesn't carry any power, like we know this is the case so it's not a revolutionary act to say this  now. When you're dealing with songs about grief it's not the right frame of mind to think oh I have to experience the same loss for this to resonate. I have lost someone this year, and I don't think I've mourned the way I should have. I understand the loss Tori's gone through, I can't imagine how hard it would be to lose your mother no matter how long they've been ill, but then she's had a much closer relationship with her mother, that would be harder to endure. The lyrics do have a lot of sadness/anger/grief I guess it's not coming out in her voice and performance. There's a kind of resignation now fire has become water, which makes sense.

Peaky Sons and my permanent inability to keep from making intertextual comparisons between shows. (SPOILERS)

I have a litany of issues with Sons of Anarchy, so much so, I don't think I could sit through a rewatch because of the ending. (See also: Dexter - I could reconsider based on the new series, but same time I'm not stoked enough to actually care about the new series that would justify rewatching). I'll never not feel bad for Jimmy Smits' character in Sons, that travesty lives in my brain rent free, I hate how Gemma ruined everything over her psychotic obsession with family, I hate how Jax went out. I hate Tara died right before she almost got out, she was my favourite character.

But what really got me was the amount of times Jax basically sabotages himself for the sake of the club. I get that's the premise, that there's no way out, but when you have a main character you've been trying to root for since the pilot, and they keep making choices that screw them over, how are you supposed to keep on their side?

And that's all I'm getting out of Peaky Blinders.

I knew there were exact analogies with this and Sons. Tommy is Jax, Polly is Gemma, Grace is Tara, Tig is Arthur, John is Juice. They have younger siblings to care for who are embroiled in the club and used for "errands" and who grow up with loyalty to the family, there are the wives and the girls they need to get certain shit done and help with making little grubby heirs to their empires.

But it's all heading south for Tommy and I'm a little over watching shows where the hero gets it all and pisses it all away. If the tension is prolonged over living on a knife's edge and every episode is another bullet dodged, it gets really tired. I was into Cillian Murphy's performance but the gravelly voice is grating on me, he's a good character that's compromised constantly by his gang and his family, and the law/IRA/opposing gangs like to use him as a pawn or constantly demand loyalty, Churchill keeping him alive more or less for "jobs". The little "adjustments" to history are here, whereas Sons was more loosely based on one actor's experiences to give the show realism, Blinders incorporates real life historical figures to kind of play with what if scenarios, which only ever worry me when it becomes a case of a viewer refusing to look up the facts (like they do with the Crown) and they start to take this version of events as reality. I think the writers of these shows have too much confidence in the audience's ability to discern fact from fiction. How many mates have you had who watched a show or movie based on real events and took it all as 100% gospel. Any retelling has to be taken with so many grains of salt. It's why I'm starting to feel very iffy about the "any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental" clause with fiction, when it's very hard for a writer not to imprint versions of other people and themselves onto certain characters. I know these shows have their own disclaimers if they are insisting upon retelling an historical event, but that's not enough to cover your butt. I think it is legally but it doesn't get removed from the public consciousness. Either people take it all as reality, or they go the other way and think the movie Titanic was just a movie and not based on an actual event. The span of time between the event and the retelling expands, I'm not saying every story written about historical events are completely accurate, if some rando wrote the Bible and tried to get it published, it would be rejected for narrative issues and continuity errors at least. Same time, I don't refute history isn't a goldmine for fictional stories based around certain facts/events. I'm not brilliant at using history in narratives, I'm superficial by being lazy about fact checking. You need a whole other person willing to fact check you because publishers don't.

My real point was the protagonists in both these shows tend to lose the lustre via their actions, that they want to hold on to all that is pure and good once it's within their grasp but the lifestyle they lived to get thus far inevitably drags them back in. Being a gambling man with your livelihood ain't cool, brah. I'm not really gonna get mushy feelings for a problematic hero who has a history of self-sabotage and unreasonable loyalty to their club/gang. You start to think, you put all your stock in people who only care about a nebulous concept based on "feelings" and not for your welfare.

Chasing Relevance

I held up Kevin Smith's movies way too high as a late teen early adult, Chasing Amy being the one film I saw more than once and can never know where to draw the line on the presentation. More recently, particularly after Videogum (may they rest in peace) took to chopping Chasing Amy to pieces in their Hunt for the Worst Movie of All Time series of reviews (the criteria being the films were lauded overall, and particularly meeting the Criterion Collection requirements for release). This movie did get too much praise that it wouldn't get now. When we're talking of time capsules, Chasing Amy really exists in the pre-Woke era of film making where you could make a statement about gay politics and still get away with littering the script with gay slurs, even when the main "hero" rebukes his friend for using said slurs before tripping on his own hypocrisy.

Now, with some distance since my last viewing, I can see that Affleck wasn't that big a giant douche in his performance. That damn speech is somehow seen by romantic guys that were friendzoned wanted to recreate because they believed it would get them the girl. And that's not how any of that shit works. So, unfortunately, it's tainted by male fantasy. I used to think it was pretty epic, like this whole scene was amazing to me as a romantic teen/young adult (I watched a review of it from the TV more before I actually saw the movie). It's so overwrought that watching it now, with all the goddamn screaming from Alyssa, (sorry, it's ridiculous*), it's hard to take that fucking seriously. 

I don't like Mallrats, I own it as a double set with Reality Bites, which is sooooo much worse than I remember. I kinda want to watch Clerks right now to see if it does live up to my bullshit, immature praise. Holden is a self-insert of Smith, he won't deny that but yeah, mix it up a little. Banky's observations are really pathetic and dour because he's unable to cope with fluid sexuality, because nobody could cope with that because Hollywood was all, that doesn't exist. 

Jason Lee's not a bad actor. Affleck isn't the worst. Joey Lauren Adams deserves SO much more. Her dialogue would be taken through a wringer and spat out with more consideration for how women (not just lesbians) think/feel/say. That's all most people would want. I don't think you could rewrite this in a modern frame and have it make sense, since Gen Xers were more tribal than today's youth, who are cooler with you just loving who you want. So Alyssa's bi (I'd extend that to pan because she's more about being with the person ultimately) and that's no big deal, she's progressive and stuck in a largely conservative landscape that's not ready to open up to different ideals. So it absolutely sucks when she makes her eloquent speech to Holden, and has her wonderful moment of declaring her love, and he has to shit on it by making a joke about needing a serious deep dicking (as a callback to Banky's bullshit argument that a woman gives him a side-eye over, because we're not SUPPOSED TO AGREE WITH IT). We're not allowed to take it seriously. 

Truth is, Alyssa would be trashed for her thin late 90s eyebrows before the Pink Posse came at her for wanting a man. (I like I'm a big fan of barely existent brows and apparently this is a mortal sin. They look a little thicker at the end, the kind I like but for some reason can't get). It really sucks you can't have this loved-up couple beat the odds, but it's not society's fault, it's fuckin' Holden's. He's a manbaby. And to be honest, Alyssa's got some evolving to do as well, but she's ultimately the adult and she rightfully walks. Adams said in her interview she goes through less of an arc than Banky and Holden, because it is about their friendship, while Alyssa remains who she is while she's still willing to be with Holden, ultimately she's not gone straight for him, she's just agreed to be with him. And that just doesn't compute with people, least it didn't back then.

And that made me sad as a kid. I wanted to think Holden got his head out of his ass and won her back, because he ruins his whole life over this. It's hinted he's hoping for something by giving her the comic, it's a nice gesture but the reality is, it still wouldn't work. Alyssa's with someone who "doesn't get her" but while Holden's grown up a bit and figured it out, there's a kind of a maybe moment, but apparently Holden's all alone by Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Yeah, this wasn't a love letter to the gays.

The script is misogynistic and homophobic while trying to be progressive. It's faux-liberal. I don't know if Smith is a good guy or not. His scripts were 90% dialogue driven, he's not an action director and they gave him a Die Hard movie... It didn't fix anything for the LGBTQ+ community. No more than Queer as Folk did. Hooper's (the black, gay comic book artist living as a minority in the minority of the minority) there to lay out some truths while being comically racist toward white guys because that is funny, I personally don't get offended by that, it only bothers me when people refer to it as "reverse racism" like it's only racism in the context of bigotry towards black people**. His suggestion Holden deal with it doesn't lead to a mature outcome (the hockey rink argument was supposed to be in a kitchen but it is admittedly more interesting in this context until it all blows up in front of people for yucks). It's where Holden and Alyssa both become insufferable and you're like, this needs to end. Because they're just going to be screaming like crazy people in parking lots forever if they don't break up. How the hell did she not lose her voice?? She got two scenes of hysterical screaming. I think some of it could've been delivered coldly. Like it would've been so much more "fuck you" if she'd just laid it out in quiet anger then built up to screaming. I guess she does by the final scene where she officially breaks it off (which is fantastic). It's better at that moment.

All this really is about is Smith dealing with his own insecurities that fucked up his relationship with Adams. Like take your normal couple bullshit back to the burbs. Nobody is in a normal anything anymore.

End of the day, Affleck has such a douchey haircut/goatee it's impossible to fathom a lesbian falling for him. But Silent Bob ironically breaking his silence is a pretty decent scene. It still works in the frame of the film, nevertheless Holden still misses the point. (Interestingly, the music in this scene is a little in the Hal Hartley vein, the simplicity of the shot and the back and forth is very Hal, too). He doesn't really defend her shit against Banky, he's too patient with Banky and too insistent with Alyssa. It's good he doesn't get his way because he's so fucking stupid. He can't dissect and differentiate between a love of a friend and a love of a romantic partner. The egotism is gross. I'd totally light up a smoke if I was presented with the same batshit solution Holden devises. Hell, for a second Alyssa looks like she wants to put it out in his eye, and damn, I kinda wish she did.

But I don't hate this movie. I should. I don't think I'll watch it again. But my opinions are based on a much more mature brain than the one that viewed it 20 years ago.

*There's about the same amount of shrill bullshit relationship screaming in Clerks. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Smith was a fuckin' drama queen.

Oh and there's a nod to Revenge of the Nerds and the whole "whoops she slept with the wrong guy, that's not at all rape". And Jay quotes Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet -"I'll fuck anything that moves."

**I've had to hold myself back from telling someone on Facebook there is a word for "age racism". It's called fucking ageism. Jesus fucking Christ. I hate it just as much when women being sexist to men is called "reverse sexism". I mean it basically proves white men will always set the foundation for language and the general public's comprehension of it.

Six Feet Under - the humanity is too much with this one.

In retrospect, I can't say I could sit through Six Feet Under from the start for how self-destructive the characters were. Their flaws did make them so unique and interesting but the mindset I was in back then was able to cope with the cynicism and emotional dragging through the mud. I didn't find the ending that sad, but setting myself up to watch this now would be an ordeal.

I guess I wanted to at least address each main character in terms of how garbage and unlikable they could be. I can't be bothered being that all in depth.

Nate's arc over the show points to a more arrogant personality, he's difficult to satisfy, he's kind of a player, he's not that serious about Brenda and he's not so dedicated to the business of undertaking. Yes, he sleeps with Lisa behind Brenda's back and yes she's sleeping around due to a sex addiction issue, but it didn't make him the saint in the situation. Him sleeping with his own stepsister in the end (who isn't a garbage person, and who also apparently becomes pregnant, Nate's incredibly virile and there's a joke he's had a lot of women to whom he may have given many children) made me really dislike him overall. His guilt over Lisa (it's also hinted her kid wasn't Nate's and was possibly Lisa's brother in law's) isn't so grandiose as his resentment towards her.

I mostly liked Brenda and responded to her bouts of depression, but she's tainted by her relationship with her brother, Billy, who's constantly inserting himself in her life to disrupt it and create issues between her and Nate. The weird incest thread they kept coming back to seemed to just be a part of making the show darker, along with Billy being bipolar. (Sadly, some of his episodes of mania/psychosis felt familiar) But largely he was destructive. Weirdly, she's the subject of a famous book, (which I found was very close to the woman in Gone Girl). The quirk of her having a back tattoo of "Nathanial" before Nate realises the story behind it is kind of thin, I don't know whether it was an idea that made her seem sinister so when it's revealed Billy has "Isabel" on his back, after a book of two siblings they loved as children, it then seems plausible. I got why she was cheating but the more she does it, the less relatable she felt. I remember now her relationship with Joe was really interesting and seemed a lot healthier and she still trashes it for Nate. By the time they're back together and Nate's straying again, that's when I ultimately felt sorry for her, especially since she ends up with Nate's first daughter and their own kid. Nate's getting into Quakerism while she's been an atheist the whole time and he looks like a hypocrite while she comes off as the asshole for not taking his sudden spiritual interests seriously. (Why would you when you suspect it's going to be the reason your husband's about to cheat on you again?).

I loved Claire but she had some real issues, which fit with that narcissistic period some teens go through progressing into adulthood, particularly with her sexual partners, one being a girl. I liked they didn't paint this as Claire being honest in her curiosity, she really was a jerk about experimenting and you feel bad for the girl. She was the most entertaining and delightful hooking up with the Republican, Ted, I liked they were chalk and cheese but still had chemistry. Her brief thing with Billy has more impact on him, he just sublimates his obsession with Brenda for Claire for all eternity (evidently boring Brenda to literal death at the end), while for Claire it was more of a walk on the wild side and a chance for her to explore the world in a "maturer" relationship, despite Billy being unstable and immature. Claire was very tender under her surly demeanor, and hell, she had a goddamn green hearse for a car, which for no good reason was a point of ridicule at school. She tended to date broken guys, particularly Russell and Gabe. She makes the bravest decision to take a shot on New York without a job to go to. Her ending's the nicest, I think. (Interestingly her birth year is 1983, and she always seemed much other and more mature to me back then, she certainly isn't on reflection).

David makes the most sacrifices and winds up being the most resentful of Nate. His relationship with Keith is fairly typical in terms of him being in the closet but wanting to stay committed to someone, so his lack of honestly affects them both. Keith stays in the closet on a professional level, so they're both suffering from expectations society thrusts upon gay men. But they also fall into a lot of toxic situations, try to have an open relationship, (which results in Keith sleeping with Buffy's little sister, Dawn, as an obnoxious pop singer, Celeste - she's markedly better at acting in this but not a huge amount). The show was progressive for its time in its depictions of gay sex, it sat on the same relative level as Queer as Folk (this was less graphic). But there wasn't much in the way of representation outside that, since same-sex relationships were still genuinely taboo in the late 90's to put it on TV was brave and groundbreaking. So, yeah, if you do watch this as a Gen Zer, be prepared for a lot of slurs, however David's supposedly the first realistic gay lead character on TV. David's traumatic carjacking throws him into a spiral which ends with a confrontation with the guy, who can barely even remember him, that episode's kinda burnt onto my mind, it's very interesting in terms of how David's manipulated into doing crack and letting the carjacker blow him, it at least explores the notion of you still being a victim despite agreeing to your attacker's terms. David's probably the least problematic and his flaws feel more acceptable. Keith's hardly a good guy but they make sense as a couple, you want them to stay together.

Ruth's a typical neurotic mother, I remember her story lines more. As a widower, she's suddenly free to pursue other relationships, and exploring the concept of her as a sexual being with wants and needs really sets her apart from other matriarchs. Her sister was a lot of fun, despite being an addict disguised as a hippy. She has a relationship with the man she was having an affair with, has another relationship with a florist who employs her in her first job outside of being a housewife, and she eventually marries James Cromwell, then has to leave him because he's a crackpot, and that's how Nate discovers Maggie, his daughter. In the middle of it, she hooks up with Rainn Wilson too, him basically being Rainn Wilson while having an adorable crush on her while working with David as a mortician. I like she ends up caring for dogs with her sister and the sister's caretaker, that she doesn't end up with a man, even though George is there when she dies. She's a great character, the neuroses are hard to watch but she's easily the most human of everyone having to deal with repressed emotions and wanting the best for her family despite her personal desires.

I won't go into Rico and Vanessa, their stories were still interesting, it rounded out the ensemble, but they weren't particularly bad or good. I didn't like he cheated on Vanessa with a stripper who's basically using him for financial support and he's a complete sucker about it. I liked Vanessa as a character, she didn't succumb to any victimhood from being cheated on. The show was full of interesting characters, just situation-wise, it's a slog to get through on the emotional front and I tended to binge it when I was miserable, so it says a lot to the fact I'm less miserable and don't really want to go through a dirge, despite the show's moments of Ally McBealesque levity (Claire breaking into song in her head was always fun). 

The best thing about the show was using the dead person/s of the week to symbolise a character's inner monologues. It didn't get particularly tired, even if the characters' actions became tiresome in that soap opera way. That's the part I can't really see myself tolerating from the start.

Weeds: My addiction died by the end.

Another classic, this time from 2006. Parenthetical amendments.

Ok, so it's not like I haven't been watching TV for a long time. {I didn't have a high speed connection so I was still relying on actual TV that year}. And though I haven't seen every show out there, I've been aware of most. And there's an ass-groove in my couch that will be visible centuries from now. But my life has been lacking that certain something... that little weekly fix, the access to a nice mental oasis that only television can supply. {This is also pre Netflix binge era that's now returned to weekly episodes because that model is no longer sustainable.} 

No series has come up and grabbed me by the throat and compelled me to turn to the tv at the same bat time and channel for quite some time. Not that there hasn't been a few that weren't brilliant. Sadly I couldn't dedicate myself to Veronica Mars or Six Feet due to their allotments to ridiculous timeslots and what have you... {I still haven't watched Veronica Mars and don't think I can stomach Six Feet Under remembering how garbage the characters are}. 

But I am prepared dedicate myself to one show: Weeds. Thank CHRIST for this show or I'd probably have given up on TV all together. Weeds is so close to flawless on all levels it's putting me in a state of paranoia. Oh to have been a fly on the wall when this was pitched to the network: suburban widow becomes local pot dealer to support her children. And it's not like that's it, folks, that's the only thing going for it. Add to the zip-lock bag the near perfect casting, fantastic story lines and beautiful locations and you have probably one of the best shows I've seen since... god knows what. and thank you Christ yet again that those losers responsible for the Emmys (who should be executed for crimes against humanity for never awarding Joss for Buffy {Wrong, they were right not to give this guy too many props}) bestowed their award 4 times upon Weeds.(because god knows they have A LOT of making up to do.) The dichotomy between the lower-class black crime ridden neighbourhood and the white upper-middle carbon copy ticky-tacky house one is so slight it's hilarious. There's obviously a sinister current running through both, one's just more visible than the other. The characterisation is spot on. You hate some of the regulars one minute, and can't help rootin for them the next. This is a show gen Yers have been gagging for. We're not gonna be sold on the reefer-madnessesque propaganda our governments are trying to spoon-feed us through the media. Weeds puts it all in perspective, and it's educational without being a total "how-to" for setting up shop. The main character isn't a smoker, hell she even states she's not a dealer. But she is a mother, and Mary Louise Parker has rammed the nail through the board with her portrayal of the widow just trying to get by. These aspects and the gorgeous and infectious theme tune, an old ditty from the 30s that sums up the show so well I applauded the first time I heard it (It's stuck in my head as I write this), make this show a hard habit to break. I can't find much wrong with Weeds. I'm hooked. I'll need to go to rehab to help with the withdrawal I'll suffer when the series is over... and I'll be back on it as soon as Season 2 starts up here. It's official, ladies and gentlemen, Weeds really is good shit. 

Real shame it fell in so many toilets it wasn't even worth watching all the way through again. Much like Dexter and Sons of Anarchy, (And yes, Game of Thrones- I always maintained I'd buy all the seasons to make up for my stealing them but we never bothered with the final season), I can't go back to the start knowing the endings are awful. Six Feet Under finished strong but I'm not the same person I was when that was airing and it's depressing to watch characters behave so badly because they hate themselves. There's even a new season of Dexter coming that doesn't look bad, but there's no telling if it'll be good, it seems to just be a compensation for its horrendous final episodes. All these shows suffered from coming out of the gate too strong. Breaking Bad was at least relatively consistent, El Camino was enjoyable but I didn't need it to exist. Better Call Saul just gets better, I've already rewatched it once, and I think it'll finish strong. Weeds really did let itself down by having too kooky a premise that by the time it wandered into the realms of ridiculous it was a frustrating watch that had a weird, existential ending, I can't say the lead characters were invested in continuing. It's hard to say what direction it began with but again the characters all became bad, made awful decisions that were hard to related to or support and then you didn't care what happened. Sons of Anarchy was infuriating, poor Jimmy Smits falls for Gemma, gets involved with the club and Jax at the cost of his own business that was fine until Gemma and Jax showed up, then he gets lumped with the kids so Jax can make a messiah-level sacrifice and bail on the situation rather than go to jail where he belongs. But then Jimmy Smits' character in Dexter kinda ruined that season. I could probably watch Weeds up until she gets into bed with the Mexican cartel. She goes to jail but as soon as she's out she's looking to deal again which is annoying. Ben Folds did some episodes. Apparently it might have a sequel but meh, who cares? I didn't think Mary-Louise Parker was down to keep going.

Addendum 2025: I was just about sick of the same YouTube videos in my feed since people I sub to don’t upload a lot, and I was in a bad mood, so I decided to watch Weeds on Netflix. As I said, I lost track of the show since I stopped watching TV and I was kinda not into streaming illegally, so now I can see it legally and I’ve gotten through five seasons, I was a bit unfair about everything up to season 6. Season 8 was the worst rated, I think they could’ve wrapped it up sooner. I thought Shane was awful and Silas was so unsympathetic for getting Megan pregnant but they were both really solid and weirdly loyal, Shane’s psychopathy is developed really well, he sees his dad die, it makes sense he scones someone with a mallet. Silas is dedicated to protecting him from Nancy despite it being far too late for him, Silas stays due to his conscience, even when Nancy gives him multiple outs, he’s a good kid and it’s heartbreaking what she does to him. Andy isn’t a total simp but Nancy’s manipulations are insane and egomaniacal in a way even though he’s clearly supposed to be her conscience, he’s a schmuck as well. He nearly marries Alanis until he fails her and he tries to stand his ground. You think he’s deadweight but he’s loveable and devoted. Nancy abandons many houses and chances to start over, which again made her less sympathetic the more often it happened, like Jax in Sons. I guess the obscene lack of longterm consequences for Nancy makes it worse. I know she actually does time but it’s the whole going back to it that’s ridiculous. Nancy hates not being herself but she despises missing out, she can’t live a normal life, she refuses to erase herself even when she’s in need of new identities.

Shane’s actually entertainingly diabolical, you can kinda let the pervert stuff pass since he’s so traumatised they could’ve made him an emo little shitbag he’s more sardonically evil. Silas conversely tries to turn his life around he could be in Amsterdam and he could be on the road, he’s suffering with Nancy instead so he pretends to go to college.

I keep forgetting to save these posts since they’re already published. I said something about the ice lattes and how I always want one. Nancy’s kind of loved too much by the men in her life and overly despised by most women. Shane’s entertainingly diabolical, Silas is constantly conflicted about leaving, Andy refuses to give up on Nancy despite her manipulations. Doug is just always around. Nancy’s usually called on her bullshit eventually. But she’s over adored, either a huge saint or an absolute sinner and loathed. Now she’s done time and she’s back in the business but hindered by court appointed obligations, it feels more annoying people want to support her, I think it’s since she did time for Shane rather than drugs or anything else makes her more noble but choosing drug dealing over a normal life, it’s hit that point where sympathy is diminishing. It does feel like they had no idea what to do with the family, or Doug, they were just there and needed to be in the show so silly stuff happens to them from now on. I don’t know if the concept people can’t change or she’s desperate but smoking on top of it is pretty stupid. And me not having a job is making what she’s doing really annoying now. It’s because she’s above menial work and knows she’s having no qualifications, she’s only desperate because she wants out of the halfway house and her legal responsibilities, Andy literally says she’s learnt nothing, it’s all about getting back in the game. Sons got so annoying for the same reason. Jax gets an out that’ll save Tara and his kids and he fucks it all up and Gemma contributes by killing Tara. It’s annoying. I get Jax bites it but it’s not as noble or poetic as the show frames it as. He dumps his whole life onto poor Jimmy Smit and his first kid’s mother then sacrifices himself. Nancy’s being forced to send money for Stevie I hate her sister does the whole “auntifying” Nancy so he never knows she’s his mother, all these shows have a kid who’s passed around in the name of safety, so yeah, she is desperate for money and selling is all she knows and can do but her other actions like fucking around and getting high negate my sympathy. Plus Doug falls into an accounting job out of nowhere and he sucks more. Seeing characters fail upwards is as bad as seeing real politicians do it. And I’m sick of seeing despicable people rewarded for that behaviour and never punished. Then she ropes in Silas and Andy anyway. But Silas has more over on her and he looks absolutely weathered and done with her shit. She’s fucking awful but she’s always been that way. But I do feel bad she gets no sleep and peace.

Aidan Quinn also shows up and immediately hits on Nancy too so she has to be her new love interest. I think I missed a lot of this season. And I feel bad for the poor kid she squeezes out of Doug’s office, he was just doing his job, bitch. So at least she gets told off for doing it. If she’d just gotten a lay of the land and realised she was wrong she’d be boning Aidan Quinn. So the adversarial aspect of her horrid sister stealing her kid at least makes her bullshit somewhat desperate and justifiable. When you have a relatively awful main character you have to make their enemies absolute assholes so they set up Jill really well (and Jennifer Jason Leigh is always fun). Martin Short shows up too.

I’m not sure why I was so convinced Weeds went bad, it wasn’t by any means unwatchable or that annoying. Everyone around Nancy, especially Andy, evolves and finds themselves, Shane sadly succumbing to some of his traumas and developing a drinking habit. But he’s not a total loss. Andy is the one who cuts Nancy off even if you think he’s folded, Nancy’s the one who’s left on her own so to speak, she’s surrounded by her dearest in the end but it’s not permanent. She and Silas reconcile, she feels she has to save Shane but Stevie has to leave her entirely. Conrad and a bunch of others come back into the picture once Nancy figures out the best way to be her best, but the result is losing everyone close to her and winding up alone in her house. Doug still manages to reconcile with his son who Nancy was originally competing against in season one, and I completely forgot about his character and had to look them up, and it did not take me long to binge this as every episode was about 25 minutes since it was a TV show with ads etc. And I miss that model of short episodes, 13 per season. It’s a good show to binge and I’m glad I have it a second chance, the issue was more with me not wanting to watch normal TV beyond 2008, and I had to give up using certain sites, even though the creator didn’t give a shit episodes leaked online, it was usually a network problem, so you have to ask how easily were you making this shit available to people who could leak it. I’ve had fun watching early 2000s shows lately my only major issue is anything that happened to be around during a certain period will inevitably have at least one reference to it, so again, my shows that I really love were the ones that finished well before then. Plus it was kind of crass for people to go out of their goddamn way to have an applicable scene but with Weeds leaning on shock value, it fits, I guess. There’s a blackface moment that pays mind to Robert Downey’s blackface being a critical performance, not one of condoning. But it’s still offensive, I wouldn’t ask anyone younger than me to accept it. I personally find weed culture pretty cringe anyway, even now. I want it legalised of course, but I think the aesthetic is outdated and cringe and it’s cultural appropriation. Anyway, as an addendum, I don’t hate Weeds and I’ll defend it now I’ve seen it in full.

Bullshit I once wrote about James Cameron and Joss Wheedon I need to fix.

I think I'm starting a series of posts from my other blog that kind of belong here with lengthy corrections to my stupid, decade plus shitty observations. So, once again, I'll be parenthetical and amend my bollocks.

 

This post comes off the back of my viewing of Avatar. This is not a review, more a statement I feel needs to be made in regards to its director, James Cameron. And whilst writing this, I felt I couldn't leave out Joss Whedon in my argument.

Jim has copped some flack recently over Avatar being too derivative. Matt and Trey labeled it Dances with Smurfs, my brother has found it too like Disney's Fern Gully. Watching it, I came to the realisation that everything is derivative now. Avatar is Native American spirituality 101. Or to be more blunt, Message from Gaia to American armed forces: you're on my list, mother fuckers. Let's face it, given the state of the planet now, we can all be called Earth Mother Fuckers. This is essentially the crux of Avatar as far as I was concerned. There was nothing pretentious about it. Very basic narrative structure. But one thing Jim has achieved once again in this epically long (my butt was hurting really bad towards the end) allegory is the depiction of a strong female archetype. 

Before I go into any descriptions relating to Avatar, I'll ask you to cast your minds back to the iconic Sarah Connor. Her transformation from meek diner waitress to Green Beret trained soldier has not been something that has been replicated so readily of late. Monsieur Cameron has done more for the resurrection of the Athena archetype in film than I can say for our mutual friend, Little Miss Stephanie Meyer. {This was my year of hate for her} What saddens me is Sarah has done nothing to inspire women to take up arms against any oppressors much less cybernetic killing machines from the future, while Miss Meyer has caused thousands of young girls (and sadly their insipid mothers) to bare their wrists and hearts to an abusive, callous vampire who doesn't even fucking exist. (Before anyone accuses me of hypocrisy, yes, I was fully prepared to bare my neck for Brad Pitt and/or Tom Cruise - but at least Claudia had more balls than Bella Swan.) 

Neytiri, the female lead of Avatar, mimics Artemis and Athena in her stance as huntress, and later warrior in the battle against the humans on Pandora. {This was me in post uni trying to get back into Greek mythology/archetype comparisons} Her fragility in opening to love to a stranger and human takes nothing from her reserve as a fighter. What the fear is (as we already know), like a woman cannot be spiritual and sexual at once, she cannot be powerful and frail at once either. Cameron has represented both aspects in near-unison in Neytiri and Sarah. Both characters express passion to the point of hysteria when they are betrayed or not believed in. Their intelligence and forward thinking is not suppressed in order to attract a mate, it is apparent in order to protect or avenge him. Another character Cameron has conceived is Max Guevara from the short run series Dark Angel. Genetically engineered for military purposes, Max is designed to be the perfect soldier, but cannot erase or diminish her emotional side. This in most parts acts as no hindrance to her ability to carry out missions with callous precision. 

Meanwhile, another writer/director who doesn't get enough props for helping feminism is Joss Whedon. {Retract all of this. What he did to Charisma Carpenter was abysmal and I wish it'd come out way sooner since she seemed to be the only one suffering under his bullshit}. The Slayer. Enough said. River. No further discussion required. Zoe. I can shut up now, if you have no idea what I'm referring to, Google the shit out of Buffy and Firefly. The women in Joss's universe are as apt and as powerful as their male counterparts. Even his villianesses had a lot of moxy. Frail and emotional yet capable of fierce retribution, Joss's female characters are believable role models for young women, but yet again, Stephanie Meyer seems to be the only one having any influence over said demographic. I can't blame her in the entirety on this. For one thing, James Cameron doesn't really write for women as a whole. Joss has a huge underground following, but sadly I've known some of his fans, and Buffy failed to have any influence on them in the bravado department. {Buffy is overrated, to be honest, I like it but it's not brilliant.} I've taken courses that touched on feminism in cinema, and ate up the whole "vagina dentata" BS analogy, but it failed to illustrate where the strong female archetypes have risen in modern film and television. I would hope this would be rectified at some point, given there's a lot of fodder for study in both these artist's work, and the only fodder Ms Meyer can produce is for the unit "Why Feminism is Failing" 101. As Tori knows it's getting harder and harder to empower anyone, much less women. We're all being downtrodden. But if any of us bitches had a little Sarah Connor in us, shit could get serious. For the better.

Okay so there's nothing I need to really fix but this is badly written and so in line with me trying to get write essays rather than blog posts so my analytical mind didn't shut down. Oh, and James Cameron sucks too. The fact he thinks Avatar can still be a thing in four more sequels is laughable. He has an ego that knows no bounds.

So I have to reverse everything I said in this about Joss now it's come to light he really is the misogynistic bastard most sensible feminists saw him as. I'm only glad someone like Gal Gadot was actually taken seriously when she took her complaint about him to the higher-ups. I'm not her biggest fan, I genuinely didn't like Wonder Woman, I think it was overhyped and over-praised, and now in the sequel, there's some really questionable as fuck scenarios involving her character's treatment of a man (not her fault she can't be held accountable for shit writing), but I feel like Joss believed he had it over on her, decided because she wasn't a native speaker of English she was just another exotic bimbo and could put her in her place with a classic "ya career's on the line, toots" strategy only to be foiled by her publicly now. I believe everything that's been said of Joss because you can imagine the arrogance the praise got him for his shows, which also weren't the most brilliant, they were just clever, and back then, clever accounted for straight up genius. He didn't fix Justice League, he didn't fix bad portrayals of women in film and television. He's actually done nothing for humanity as a whole. Straight up asshole. Sorry. Also apparently he left some kid by a lake (when he was a kid) and they drowned. Don't know why you'd bring that up in an interview designed to set any records straight.

Rebel in the Rye and the art of handholding for dumb audiences.

I don't know how to feel about Catcher in the Rye anymore. I liked it then I studied it for uni and hated it then I just read hit pieces on the author that said he was a philandering cad. Now I'm watching Rebel in the Rye, and I forgot Kevin Spacey was in it, but I persevered. He's not good. Nicholas Hoult's a favourite of mine, and he does well with whatever you give him, (see the Favourite in particular). Oh, and there's my boy James Urbaniak, in a little bit role.

The problem with these fanciful biopics is they tend toward overdramatic montages, like this teeters on the edge of that tired cliche of clicking typewriters and pages flying in the air scored to fast, ethereal music. Like there is no other way to show the creative process. It insists upon defining a writer, I'd show this to people who struggle with their want to write over their need for recognition. Then there's the war montages, everything's very much by rote here, it's trying to imply some of these memories may be false but then there's nothing to suggest this is true, which I believe alludes to the notion of Holden Caulfield being an unreliable narrator. The scenes of accomplishment and rejection are all saccharine and over-explained. Yes, the protagonist is a known asshole. He has a showdown with the publisher over marketing and distribution, him going into bat for his precious Holden, who his lecturer insists deserves a novel. It's all very blatant as these things tend to be. It's more a highlight reel of the specific events in his life, I can't in all honesty believe the conversations as they're written. Sarah Paulson isn't misused here as the agent, but her adoration of him as an author is so overblown. I didn't know about the meditation, I don't know if he befriended a Hindu swami but apparently he slid right past Scientology and met Hubbard. I guess his reclusiveness is better illustrated. Everyone he respects initially becomes a simp of sorts. It's hard to make a philandering cad sympathetic. It's really hard to hear his family and peers gush over him, it insists with this idea that despite all his flaws people adored him. I found it fascinating he was just intent on being a short story writer, that he had to grapple with the entire process of writing for pleasure versus desiring an audience and publication, something I personally struggled with, this persistence of publishing being "everything" then ironically deciding it isn't by the film's end, once the struggle of recognition (i.e. primarily stalkers and the PTSD triggered paranoia of being lied to and manipulated by journalists), it's almost condescending and it never picks a damn lane, which I resent in all honesty. 

I haven't watched Hoult's rendition of Tolkien, the story of which has some similarities (one being they're both set during WWI and WWII), and came out two years later, but I recall seeing trailers around the same time. I believe the Tolkien one is better. Rebel in the Rye is really too extravagant, I think a degree of subtlety was required but this seemed to be directed at readers to reflect what they think of famous authors and the publishing industry, rather than authors who understand the intricacies of being an author. This obsession with people keeping rejection letters you can show off when you're finally published or use as motivation, that in itself is tired. I don't recommend people do this, especially considering people don't write individual letters to authors anymore when they're rejected, and they tend to be way too nice with their carbon copy form letters anyway, which encourage bad writers to keep at it. For you to get a  solid reason as to why you're not being published, that's a luxury afforded very few now, because there are too many players and not enough parts. It's not that encouraging to tell people "Hey, so and so got rejected so many times before they ..." Anyway, as someone who went through this process I wouldn't watch this movie and expect to enjoy it. But if you want to at least use it as a foundation for re-evaluating how you perceive yourself as a writer, it's probably not so bad. It's certainly a good example of the difference between having a wish and the stark reality that when it comes true, it wasn't all you hoped it would be.

Sidenote, I was going over my Heathers the musical rant and completely forgot Salinger refused to let Catcher be Heather Duke's book of choice, which made way more sense, and that's why we had to settle for the public domain text Moby Dick. That would've been way cooler to have a scene where he's told about the script and he refuses its inclusion. So the main character who's the most problematic turns out to be Jason Dean. (PS I thought the Veronicas also took their name from the Archie comics but they were referring to the line, "I'm a Veronica" when JD asks if she's a Heather. So the lawsuit that was issued on the band makes far less sense, according to them they didn't want the "wholesomeness" of Archie ruined by a sexy band duo, which means the concept of Riverdale now makes zero sense. That show is not wholesome.)

Juno - I was overenthusiastic, clearly

Below is an old review I did of Juno, when I had a single blog and linking under the same account wasn't done, or I refused to branch out.

I don't think Juno's as good as what I said. So I'll say it then maybe parenthetically {-} correct myself as I go...

"I think Diablo Cody kept her stripper name, and it is a great nom-de-plume, mind you now I'm going to find out it IS her real name, she IS really that cool and this blog is NEVER going to make me famous. {She's not that cool, and her views on Disassociative Identity Disorder sucks, okay you got research done but the disorder was still fairly unknown and is still disputed by some doctors}.

By the by, Juno is a great movie {it's not, it's flawed and probably well outside deserving of any major awards} . Debutante Diablo's script does have that certain screenwriting 101 feel to it {remove "certain", replace with "definite"}, so the transitions are predictable, but the story isn't {Okay I didn't see most of it coming, but some people probably should}. Ellen Page {they weren't out at the time, so I had no prior knowledge of their desire to transition, and you could say neither did they - Elliot Page is a wonderful human being and is living their best life, I hope} does rock Juno quite hard, Jason Bateman, enough said, Jennifer Garner, to me, a little forced, and Michael Cera, Mr. Reprise but it all gels nicely {It's been argued this man can do nothing but be Michael Cera and sadly it's mostly true. His Marlon Brando impersonation on Twin Peaks will just forever confuse the fuck out of me}. Alison Janey still kicks a mighty amount of ass. (The only reason I remember her name now is Peter called his pet giraffe Alison Janey on Family Guy), JK Simmons, adorably gruff dad, is equally great but he has that "I've seen in him other shit I can't remember where" face. {Man's made a name for himself, as did Janey, so it's been nice to see them both finally win Oscars} I was so horribly disappointed Rainn Wilson was a mere cameo, I was waiting for him to contribute further and felt he was underused. {Could also be argued he couldn't be anyone but Rainn Wilson, and apparently he also has weird religious beliefs now}. And I was well chuffed to see another Degrassi alumni, Daniel Clark, aka bad boy Shawn, make an appearance, (again STUPIDLY underused), I hope this is a launching pad.  {Newsflash, it wasn't}.

Will the one-liner queen become a one-hit-wonder or can she do a repeat? Who knows? {She did a repeat, and I do like Young Adult, it's more interesting and better written than Juno, but United States of Tara is kind of a joke - people with DID don't usually have enough costumes to transform into their alters at will, plus you have to wonder if by the time they were done transforming, another alter hadn't decided to come in and change their mind. I can totally imagine them going out to buy clothes that suit one personality then wondering why their wardrobe is eclectic, this more felt like character acting in the dedication to the appearance of each alter. Some reason I thought Toni Collette wore a face mustache/beard combo but no, it was more superficial in terms of transformation}.

Am I a hipster now I use Juno-lingo? Am I a hipster because I'm emotionally deranged, horribly cynical, scathingly witty and wear long sleeve shirts under band t-shirts? I don't know. Has Juno reworked our general interweb speech? Possibly. {Newsflash 2, it really didn't, it was terribly twee, likened to terrible Dr. Seuss comparisons}

I love there wasn't a preachy feel to the movie. It tried to cover the pro-life/choice issue but definitely not with the same affect as Palindromes. I want to ask Cody if she is pro-choice, as the felt after Juno bolts from Women Now (who help Women, now) was darkly waving the pro-life banner. Or was Cody just trying to cover all bases with her cavalcade of one-off characters, (the clinic clerk, the cashier, the ultra-sound tech, the single protester)? The facts and opinions inter-woven in the dialogue gave it that Weeds kinda feel, educational and entertaining, but obvious in its intent. {And in this sense, it felt like it was being more educational than really dissecting the issues to make rounded characters we could sympathise with more - I think she wanted to look at accepting parents who were still a bit disappointed, someone who was pro-life who wasn't a dick, when you know it's rare for them to picket those clinics to work on their own.}

Was it too fucking clever? {For its own good, yes} It had the right amount of emotion, I felt the heartstrings tug at the appropriate moments, but did it blow the quirk-o-metre? {Yes, it wasn't necessary, the heart is there but I feel like this would irritate me now}. Benny and Joon still managed to rein in the quirk more effectively. Jason Bateman does embody the true essence of a generation lost in its own arrested development, one of the many strays left behind in the wake of the Cobain suicide. {On reflection, he's a douche but it's so hard to bat for Garner's desperate mother routine too. You run a risk of pining mother characters looking one dimensional, obsessed and myopic. Juno being into all the same shit he is makes her a kind of "old soul" in the way her having a fucking out of date hamburger phone makes her one.... Depicting kids being into Gen X shit at that time, it's not that endearing, you have to have a line about how they're aficionados of the same music, not just casual listeners, avid fans of the same movies etc}.

I do like the movie. {I really don't think I do now I've heard the legitimate criticisms} The music did grate {I had one song from it and and I don't listen to it anymore}. I'm not really sure what else to say. The dialogue was too cool for school. I've wanted to do scripts with the same kinda hep-cat beat poet vibe, but now, I'll be seen as a hack. Kudos to you, Cody, for getting a real job. Don't spend the fat pay cheques too quickly. {Quick Wikipedia scan confirms she's done very little but it was critically well received. What I saw of United States, I think that was when I started to get annoyed with her style, especially when she was using phrases like "bitchcakes" like, okay honey, you were a fan of Beth from News Radio, we get it. Bobcat Goldwaith made a point of calling her out for her dialogue in God Bless America, which I consider superior even if other people thought it was trash and problematic, I'm fond of it}.

Okay, so I didn't have much else to add since this wasn't a positive review so much it was, "I think I liked it??"

As an additional point, I looked at a clip of United States of Tara and this would've been Twitter cancelled before the end of the first season, it never would have survived until a third season cancellation. The alters are obvious excuses for the character to be completely irresponsible. I believe the Buck character does visit other women, and even if Tara''s shaming her son as this character for being too feminine, when she's Tara, she sees her daughter being pushed around by a guy with "pigtails" and has a go at her for being pushed around by him. Plus she makes slut shaming statements of her daughter getting a morning after pill. (I don't know if the joke was Tara was the one doing this as her teen persona but I don't think so). So, Tara's just a garbage person period, you're introduced to her having an ego on her already. What's to root for with this bitch? 

Brie Larson was in this and I think she may have been genuinely okay, I loved John Corbet in Northern Exposure but he's been used terribly since and his character in this show basically has to condone and endure Tara's decision to cease her medication because she doesn't want to be "stifled creatively etc" (bitch, we all have to suffer for stability with medication, your needs when you're off it shouldn't take precedence over your fucking family if you know full well you cannot function normally off medication) The husband has to put up with the alters making crass sexualised statements about his children, and be more or less molested by an alter and put boundaries on his sex life with them because that alter "just wants a baby". And the teen apparently abuses access to his credit cards. If you want to start saying DID sufferers go on massive spending sprees as their alters, that's bullshit, it happens more in a manic episode not a disassociative one. It's been highlighted sufferers of DID hurt themselves more than other and they easily have less criminal traits than sufferers of schizophrenia. (I read an article about a guy who murdered his wife's boyfriend while being a diagnosed schizophrenic and was told "there was no hope for them" back in the 70s, because yeah, every mental case was a total waste of space and families were advised to commit suffers and just forget about them, same with autistic kids).

And to top it all off, each alter is literally just a cliche - Susie Homemaker from the 50s, (so you can have a scene where she makes a perfect cake for a bake sale) 16 year old bad mouth Valley Girl (so you can have a scene of Tara being a reckless teen with her teen daughter who "loves this alter", yeah that's a totally healthy response, just encourage the mental patient), ex NamVet trucker asshole womaniser (so you can have scenes of Tara being sexist and flirting with women), five year old child, and hippy therapist. I understand this is a test of a marriage and someone's devotion and I hate people who bail on significant others over their mental health issues, same time, man has a fucking case here when it's about a conscious decision, stupidly agreed upon by a therapist, for a mentally ill woman to cease taking medication. Maybe if the alters had taken over gradually and less perceptively, and she was accidentally under medicated, it would make her a thousand times more sympathetic. But this is a conscious choice, and makes anyone with a mental illness look irresponsible for not taking their meds. It's insulting as fuck when you're on medication and in the middle of a relapse for your loved ones to just assume you've skipped your meds, like that's the only explanation. Please stop using this as a narrative hook. "Are you off your meds?" is a fucking insult.

Which brings me back to shitty depictions of therapists in movies. This is Silver Lining Playbook levels of irresponsible therapy shit that NEVER WOULD HAPPEN. And to make a joke of Tara finding a new therapist in a convenient alter persona, I'm sure a judge would grant a divorce and full custody to the dad upon being presented with this evidence in a custody trial. The mentally ill need proper support if they want to continue being a parent, and there's woeful assistance out there for women who have to come off meds to have kids, or were never afflicted with a mental illness until they even had a child. You don't depict mothers this way. I'd say they went with her having teenage kids because it would look horrifying to have her behave like this around an ignorant child who couldn't possibly fathom what was wrong with her.

No. This show sucks. It would not pass a single test you put it through now, it was created in a time it was totally convenient to throw mental illness under the bus for the purpose of entertainment. It had to take an episode of Modern Family, which I'm sure is equally offensive without this, of the family going as mental patients for Halloween for audiences to finally go, please stop. And I wasn't that offended initially by these depicitions, but Tara is offensive. Toni Collette is incredibly talented, it would take a lot of energy to do this, but shit, James McAvoy dare I say, did it more justice in Split, and that still didn't get a good response. In all honestly, I dislike so many of Collette's American woman depictions with her accent, she's not awful, but for a comparison, Rachel Griffiths does a better job in Six Feet Under. Australians are better with American accents because we're exposed to so much US content from birth, compared to the US, our movies and TV shows just don't get the love, kids don't know how to pronounce anything properly now.

You can say you did all the research you want, that you consulted all the right bodies for your accurate depiction, but guess who else said they did that? Sia. And look what happened to her. I've gotten used to looking for reactions from affected communities over these representations since it shouldn't take a person unfamiliar with their issues to know the depiction is wrong. And working with like one expert is not enough, you're using them a shield against criticism whilst saying, oh, well it's not about the illness, it's about how hard life is in general and how we all compartmentalise parts of ourselves anyway, so this is just taking that to a comedic extreme. Go fuck yourself. This may have started as a review of Juno but now it's just a rant against ableism.

Okay, so now this is just an I hate Diablo Cody post. She participated in the new live action PowerPuff Girls live action show and the script had some "choice" language (can't say if it's hers specifically) that fans disagreed with, so the pilot did what a pilot should do which is point out the flaws before the series goes ahead. Only, does anyone want it in the first place? I thought a bad pilot just meant you gave up and went back to the drawing board, not persist with the bad idea. But maybe she's out of touch with girls today when she was coming up as the voice of a generation. No, I think she's the voice of third wavers who can't get on board with sex positive language despite being an ex stripper.

She-Ra And the Power of Good Reboots

I'm sure the new(ish - it's kind of old really considering how long it's taken me to bother) She-Ra was the result of one imaginative person looking at the original unfinished series thinking, there's something here buried under this joke of a toy commercial, some kernel of awe-inspiring feminist punk rock/princess fantasy that'll appeal to kids now while satisfying fans and casual watchers, like me. 

Full disclosure - I really don't know/remember much of the show. I think I saw some episodes but I can't tell you much outside who She-Ra is in relation to He-Man and what her horse was called when it was a flying unicorn I wanted as a toy so fucking badly. I never wanted the dolls, I wanted their goddamn horses. I wanted Barbie's horse, Rainbow Bright's horse, and She-Ra's fucking unicorn Pegasus. Because Christ that's the epitome of every six-year-old horse lover's toy, especially one like me who couldn't sit on a real horse (pony) unaided without falling off. I feel like I could try riding a horse again, maybe just walking not sprinting, because I remember what I did wrong. But then I'd probably show up and go, no. They're good therapy though.

Anyway, getting a toy horse that looked like an actual horse was my goal, but I'd have loved a Swift Wind toy. I had a cardboard cut-out of Spirit I could put paper hook-on accessories on to make it Swift Wind. It just wasn't the same.

Anyway, the new She-Ra turned out to be rad. I've run out of stuff on Netflix etc to watch so I thought screw it (and I was inspired by some DeviantArt, finding out I have a thing for certain "reimagined" cartoon characters has been illuminating) I'll check this out. I really like the aesthetic even if it's borrowed a lot from Last Airbender, probably leaning more into the anime tropes at the same time. I'm in danger of getting sick of this amalgamated style the way I got sick to death of Pixar/Dreamworks style movies. Like, I'm fucking sorry, but you can tell they reuse assets for characters, that under Disney Pixar lost so much creative freedom as it was forced into multiple sequels they swore not to make. So, if this art style is really becoming the norm I'm not going to love it. I was underwhelmed with the cartoon style of Invincible until YMS pointed out it was in the style of Saturday morning cartoons, the deliberate lack of detail and sort of bad lip-sync gives it a certain charm in that regard, plus it ended up being a trauma ride not for kids, had interesting bad guys and flawed good guys and a decent enough hook with a frustrating love triangle, the kind you get from Saturday morning cartoons.

She-Ra, for some reason, has the best baddies, the kind you love to hate. Rather than stick with one dimensional Hordak as our main antagonist, we get a very nuanced, well-structured Catra, who was relegated to henchman in the original. We get a female based rivalry based on betrayal, Catra a better foil for She-Ra, with Hordak kinda hanging out in the background making more tension for Catra overall. Also, we've avoided the villain of the week and they've managed to develop a relatively engaging story with good twists and turns. And the gay kids finally get the ships and reasonable representation they deserve (to be fair, their only NB character's probably a little too camp/sexualised in the way you can oversexualise an androgynous character, but Double Trouble is still an entertaining far cry from the original as well, and they've gone to the trouble (boom-tish) of casting appropriately as well).

We have princesses but they've all been revamped into gutsy teens with various teen traits that don't make them uninteresting in any way, and they all have their awesome powers and realistic flaws. Entrapta has an obvious neuro- divergent slant, Frosta's now a spunky little 13 year old, Perfuma's more of a neurotic mess disguised as a hippy, I guess Scorpia's more sympathetic comparatively even if she's sappy and a little too clingy. Mermista's the Daria of the gang. Netossa and Spinarella were put in the background as lesbian wives (Bow also has gay dads, one of which looked a lot like a Dream Daddy character, also you get a short king out of King Micah, who's like half a foot shorter than Angella, they really wanted to cater to all the marginlised groups*). They've made a deliberate move to really keep with the higher ratio of female characters, Bow, Seahawk and Swift Wing are the bois of the crew, and they're not forced into relationships right away, Bow and Glimmer are good childhood friends, there's not a huge amount of underlying romantic stories between them. Also, Swifty is stuck as Swifty permanently, there's no reverting back to "horsie" mode, and instead of making him a pretentious asshole he's just campy, sarcastic, sassy-ass fun, meanwhile he still gives a shit about everyone and I'm sure he didn't in the original.

Shadow Weaver has a developed arc as a conflicted villain you're still unable to trust in terms of motivations. The Horde is still a problem but they seem more formidable, plus they're humanising the bad guys in terms of "who deserves to live or die in a war". You have moral quandaries over constant good versus evil fights, I'm into the story, there are stakes and tension you didn't get from a lot of older cartoons. What you do get is that hatred for the villain whenever it looks like they're winning, which was such a driving factor of those shows. When you weren't bugging your parents for the toys you were thinking about how evil the bad guys were. Well, these guys are genuine assholes with more than half a dimension. Admittedly, you're not always on She-Ra's side either. She's entertainingly flawed, she's not always winning, much like Buffy, she's the chosen one who is only truly strong alongside her friends. The reveal on her purpose is paced really well, the conflicts later on between the good guys aren't too contrived either.

I honestly have no idea what role the princesses served in the original series, either. I remember Glimmer but honestly she didn't look familiar until the episode they spoofed the original, which was fun. My biggest issue was random rock songs that take up two to three minutes of the episode. Use these sparingly, I beg you. (PS they did). I quit Bob's Burgers from there being a musical number every episode after they did their own "full musical" episode. Honestly, I don't find that shit funny. Simpsons was better at pulling that shit off sporadically, like the Monorail number or the Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart, or See My Vest, or the Flaming Moe's song, or anything off the B-Sharps episode. I don't know what it's like now but they knew when to use a musical number. I don't really understand other cartoons doing this on a regular basis. Like if you have actors who can sing, that's swell and all, but do we need this interlude or were you struggling to fill the time?

So, I guess this show just has to quit it with the musical numbers and keep entertaining me, and I'll stick around until the end. I've kinda spoiled a particular arc because my dumb ass thought the still was someone's DeviantArt ship fantasy and was an actual scene in the show, but I'm looking forward to how we get there based on where we're at now. Some smarts have gone into this, as well as a good dose of charm.

Okay, that actually paid off really well. Semi-spoilers from here, and this is even after I spoiled shit for myself. I feel like this ending was the one She-Ra deserved from the very start, and I mean the VERY start. I doubt this was canon, that it was intended, I don't think they had a plan for the original show, most of those shows probably weren't ever designed for storytelling on this level since they were always cut short by the lack of toy sales (even Avatar suffered for this). But the new version was genuinely great, it was sincerely heartfelt and emotional without being hackneyed or schmaltzy. I was invested in the way I've not really been with other shows. What I assumed would happen didn't, expectations were subverted. There's a redemption for some and the final boss takedown is really special, it's not a drawn out battle, I like that about it. There's a lot of rainbows but it's nice, you feel good and not kinda overloaded with sappiness. 

Whoever planned this, (I'll say Noelle Stevenson carried this as its her creation) I take my hat off to you for actually giving She-Ra the ending she was worthy of 30 fucking years ago. I take it all back, she was done dirty and this makes up for everything. I wouldn't even bother with the original since it would be painful to watch with how little they did with She-Ra. You didn't marry her off or ship her with any particular male character. You didn't sacrifice her but made us think she would lose, for all her OPness, there was still a solid character there we were at least invested in and wanted to see succeed. Her "I'm the only one" shit wasn't played out to death like with Buffy, they saved that for the end. There were a lot of dark scenes I think (hope) people wouldn't be upset by, like I get the point of trigger warnings but I don't think there was inherent intention of causing harm, in some ways it refused to pull those punches other shows do.

And if you're a Korra fan, guess what, you got your damn kiss at last. So that's two for the price of one. I think this show is lacking the recognition it deserved for bothering to be diverse enough and turn shit on its head. You can say it was pandering but I'll give it so many passes for how well it did it, I don't think it was condescending in its approach. It played it subtly until there was a sign they could finally wave those flags. This actually would've made me cry in the way Wonder Woman never can or will. I mean, this deserves its Rotten Tomato rating. It deserves its fan base. And I did not feel that way about Wonder Woman in the slightest, or even the Harley Quinn sequel. (I'm not kidding, throw them both in the trash and watch the new Harley Quinn animation, it's really good). They both had an opportunity to do more with what they had, whereas She-Ra really feels like its heart was carried through to the end, left intact. I enjoyed this about as much as I did Avatar. I don't know if I'd ever watch it again, it'd be interesting since I've never felt a huge urge to go back to Avatar or Legend of Korra, I haven't been sucked into other animated shows. For all the anime out there that this borrowed from, it didn't suffer from pacing issues or just being compelled to continue an existing manga until the end of days, because the manga had no end. 

Anyway, faith restored for now. Something Netflix got right for once. This was a show for people who really thought those toy commercials were meant to inspire them, for the writers who believed in those stupid characters and wanted to be creative. And for those little girls (and boys - I discovered the other day drag star Courtney Act wanted a She-Ra doll so badly for Christmas, but hilariously, she got a Swift Wind, and I got the She-Ra doll. If we'd been friends, I'd have begged her to swap) who deserved a strong female character who was a princess who kicked ass and still had a heart, it was for you.

She's the hero we all deserved, then and now.

*Speaking of catering I have to say I think some of the cast were like meh they could be about character's alignments. Saying you "do think they are..." doesn't mean they are any more than Lando's pan. It's of no massive consequence now to drop those hints. I really do hope people have gotten what they wanted from this, that it's a normal thing in the show, that people don't feel pandered to.