In retrospect, I can't say I could sit through Six Feet Under from the start for how self-destructive the characters were. Their flaws did make them so unique and interesting but the mindset I was in back then was able to cope with the cynicism and emotional dragging through the mud. I didn't find the ending that sad, but setting myself up to watch this now would be an ordeal.
I guess I wanted to at least address each main character in terms of how garbage and unlikable they could be. I can't be bothered being that all in depth.
Nate's arc over the show points to a more arrogant personality, he's difficult to satisfy, he's kind of a player, he's not that serious about Brenda and he's not so dedicated to the business of undertaking. Yes, he sleeps with Lisa behind Brenda's back and yes she's sleeping around due to a sex addiction issue, but it didn't make him the saint in the situation. Him sleeping with his own stepsister in the end (who isn't a garbage person, and who also apparently becomes pregnant, Nate's incredibly virile and there's a joke he's had a lot of women to whom he may have given many children) made me really dislike him overall. His guilt over Lisa (it's also hinted her kid wasn't Nate's and was possibly Lisa's brother in law's) isn't so grandiose as his resentment towards her.
I mostly liked Brenda and responded to her bouts of depression, but she's tainted by her relationship with her brother, Billy, who's constantly inserting himself in her life to disrupt it and create issues between her and Nate. The weird incest thread they kept coming back to seemed to just be a part of making the show darker, along with Billy being bipolar. (Sadly, some of his episodes of mania/psychosis felt familiar) But largely he was destructive. Weirdly, she's the subject of a famous book, (which I found was very close to the woman in Gone Girl). The quirk of her having a back tattoo of "Nathanial" before Nate realises the story behind it is kind of thin, I don't know whether it was an idea that made her seem sinister so when it's revealed Billy has "Isabel" on his back, after a book of two siblings they loved as children, it then seems plausible. I got why she was cheating but the more she does it, the less relatable she felt. I remember now her relationship with Joe was really interesting and seemed a lot healthier and she still trashes it for Nate. By the time they're back together and Nate's straying again, that's when I ultimately felt sorry for her, especially since she ends up with Nate's first daughter and their own kid. Nate's getting into Quakerism while she's been an atheist the whole time and he looks like a hypocrite while she comes off as the asshole for not taking his sudden spiritual interests seriously. (Why would you when you suspect it's going to be the reason your husband's about to cheat on you again?).
I loved Claire but she had some real issues, which fit with that narcissistic period some teens go through progressing into adulthood, particularly with her sexual partners, one being a girl. I liked they didn't paint this as Claire being honest in her curiosity, she really was a jerk about experimenting and you feel bad for the girl. She was the most entertaining and delightful hooking up with the Republican, Ted, I liked they were chalk and cheese but still had chemistry. Her brief thing with Billy has more impact on him, he just sublimates his obsession with Brenda for Claire for all eternity (evidently boring Brenda to literal death at the end), while for Claire it was more of a walk on the wild side and a chance for her to explore the world in a "maturer" relationship, despite Billy being unstable and immature. Claire was very tender under her surly demeanor, and hell, she had a goddamn green hearse for a car, which for no good reason was a point of ridicule at school. She tended to date broken guys, particularly Russell and Gabe. She makes the bravest decision to take a shot on New York without a job to go to. Her ending's the nicest, I think. (Interestingly her birth year is 1983, and she always seemed much other and more mature to me back then, she certainly isn't on reflection).
David makes the most sacrifices and winds up being the most resentful of Nate. His relationship with Keith is fairly typical in terms of him being in the closet but wanting to stay committed to someone, so his lack of honestly affects them both. Keith stays in the closet on a professional level, so they're both suffering from expectations society thrusts upon gay men. But they also fall into a lot of toxic situations, try to have an open relationship, (which results in Keith sleeping with Buffy's little sister, Dawn, as an obnoxious pop singer, Celeste - she's markedly better at acting in this but not a huge amount). The show was progressive for its time in its depictions of gay sex, it sat on the same relative level as Queer as Folk (this was less graphic). But there wasn't much in the way of representation outside that, since same-sex relationships were still genuinely taboo in the late 90's to put it on TV was brave and groundbreaking. So, yeah, if you do watch this as a Gen Zer, be prepared for a lot of slurs, however David's supposedly the first realistic gay lead character on TV. David's traumatic carjacking throws him into a spiral which ends with a confrontation with the guy, who can barely even remember him, that episode's kinda burnt onto my mind, it's very interesting in terms of how David's manipulated into doing crack and letting the carjacker blow him, it at least explores the notion of you still being a victim despite agreeing to your attacker's terms. David's probably the least problematic and his flaws feel more acceptable. Keith's hardly a good guy but they make sense as a couple, you want them to stay together.
Ruth's a typical neurotic mother, I remember her story lines more. As a widower, she's suddenly free to pursue other relationships, and exploring the concept of her as a sexual being with wants and needs really sets her apart from other matriarchs. Her sister was a lot of fun, despite being an addict disguised as a hippy. She has a relationship with the man she was having an affair with, has another relationship with a florist who employs her in her first job outside of being a housewife, and she eventually marries James Cromwell, then has to leave him because he's a crackpot, and that's how Nate discovers Maggie, his daughter. In the middle of it, she hooks up with Rainn Wilson too, him basically being Rainn Wilson while having an adorable crush on her while working with David as a mortician. I like she ends up caring for dogs with her sister and the sister's caretaker, that she doesn't end up with a man, even though George is there when she dies. She's a great character, the neuroses are hard to watch but she's easily the most human of everyone having to deal with repressed emotions and wanting the best for her family despite her personal desires.
I won't go into Rico and Vanessa, their stories were still interesting, it rounded out the ensemble, but they weren't particularly bad or good. I didn't like he cheated on Vanessa with a stripper who's basically using him for financial support and he's a complete sucker about it. I liked Vanessa as a character, she didn't succumb to any victimhood from being cheated on. The show was full of interesting characters, just situation-wise, it's a slog to get through on the emotional front and I tended to binge it when I was miserable, so it says a lot to the fact I'm less miserable and don't really want to go through a dirge, despite the show's moments of Ally McBealesque levity (Claire breaking into song in her head was always fun).
The best thing about the show was using the dead person/s of the week to symbolise a character's inner monologues. It didn't get particularly tired, even if the characters' actions became tiresome in that soap opera way. That's the part I can't really see myself tolerating from the start.
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