I sat in the front row of the local cinema drunk on vodka back in 1999, just having finished high school that year. We didn't have enough internet back then that the makers of the Blair Witch Project could at least keep up the ruse that the kids in the movie were real. But the movie was getting international traction and a lot of interesting commentary about how you can make something big with so little. I also have severe queazy cam so I'm not physically looking at the screen too much.
This movie had vibes. There was this song on the radio that was a remix with quotes from the film that was kinda eerie. The soundtrack also has a great Afghan Whigs cover on it. The guy behind Paranormal Activity passed on this and rued the day ever since so he had to make buttloads more of that franchise to compensate.
The set up for the film is pretty reasonable, you're to assume this footage is unedited and was found as is, so I can't remember if they edited the interviews before going into the woods, I didn't think they did, in camera editing might explain it. People supposed that if you weren't born during this marketing phenomena and didn't know about the movie, could you be tricked into thinking this was real and have the hoax reset.
The main girl Heather is kinda obnoxious, there's good reason to dislike her but she's endearing. The two guys Josh and Mike are pretty hilarious, they're fun, they have good chemistry at the start, they aren't that annoying. The locals all have the right amount of energy, you get the woodsy fishermen arguing about the facts about the myth and how the woods are haunted. I liked they had black and white and colour shots, and it's getting up to wonky, unstable camera time so I'll keep my eyes down. I was more checking this out because it showed up on a lot of people's top five movies of the 90s, the marketing the big hero of the story. I listened to interviews from the film makers who were responsible for making noises outside the tent to freak the actors out. I don't remember them being particularly egotistical, you can see interviews of indie directors that make a lot of pretentious claims about film making.
It doesn't take long for our intrepid film makers to get lost, and Heather's only proving chicks can't read maps. Josh gets in between Mike and Heather's married couple bickering. There's a lot of hilarious ad lib as well. Heather didn't write anything down so she can't remember shit the crazy lady says at the start, she's way too confident about how not lost they already are, but spirits are relatively high.
I'm also wearing my headphones for funsies which is making this more creepy now you can hear the spoopy stuff happening in the dark and shit. Problem is I can remember all the quotes from that song too. Heather's also making a lot of unreasonable demands of her crew, I'm on Mike's side at this point, nobody's talking to Heather and now they're supposed to be heading back with Heather full of false promises and trying to explain why they're going where they're going. Yeah, Heather's dumb optimism is really irritating, Mike is reasonably pissed and Josh can't keep Mom and Pops from bickering. The ticking clock becomes them having to get back to work on Monday, which is a great little realistic and mundane plot device that adds to the tension. Little Miss Scorsese is still trying to get footage, the equipment's rented and it won't be back on time. There's still a lot of nonsense going on out in the woods, and now I can see where they got the inspiration for that Unity asset torchlight effect that Slenderman ripped off. The crazy stuff's going on. Now we can see Heather's bullshit has gone way too fucking far, it totally is all her fucking fault. Heather sucks. She straight up sucks. YOU SUCK, HEATHER. You can't blame a witch, you straight up bitch. The tension's coming from the bickersons and Josh is now part of it, but he's still got some insanity/levity shit going on. Now they're getting the comradery now. Remember this is all pre cell phone, they're going to count on them not showing up in town should trigger a search, but the river's getting in the way. We get to have a second act moment. Mike's laughing but it's hysteria kicking in. Heather's wet shoes become a bone of contention, but now Mike's confessing about the map being lost. I forgot that part. Now the screaming begins and Heather's blowing out the late 90s mic. Josh and Mike are coming to blows and they can't keep it together.
They've now found the little stick figure things, so shit's about to get all kinds of real. You can't get Miss Director Bitch to stop with this shit. Mike's freaking out now. Even if you thought you were in the middle of the woods back then, you could more likely be in spirals by now. This is fun listening to the little kids freaking them out, you miss a lot of shit without that noise going on. I don't even really get why they ran from camp other than paranoia and the thought they're being hunted and hearing screaming babies. The periods of black and just voices is pretty cool. The sensible thing would've been to stay in one spot and wait for help. But now they're losing their heads and the camp's been ransacked. It's the Blair Witch hillbillies. (There was a Blair St in my home and friends joked about making the Blair St Bogan movie, which would've been fucking funny).
Miss Director is pissing off her crew taping all this, when in absolute reality they would have given up. And really it's got awesome battery mileage. Josh is giving Heather existential raps about her need to keep a camera between her and reality since the witch is targeting him basically. They're also out of smokes. Least it's wet enough you couldn't start a forest fire with a flicked butt. And it's AMERICA so they can't get lost because nobody gets lost when you've destroyed all the natural resources. This is a fucking fun movie drunk and sober. I love it. I'm sick. Also, wouldn't a compass still help even a little? I'm not great with orienteering, but I can mostly read a map.
Now reality's kicking Heather in the nuts and making her snotty with fear. They can't decide where to camp, I guess the witch is fucking with the compass too maybe. It really fits with the whole desert island, stranded alone and at each other's throats. (The sequel sucks balls by the way and I've no interest in any remakes).
Josh yelling at Heather is a great moment to really surmise the situation if it has been too chaotic for viewers, it's a good time to have another emotional beats. Mike's in survival mode, Josh is infected and taunting Heather using her camera against her. Mike and Josh have a moment, they're trying to keep it together making cheeseburger jokes. This is a fantastic movie. I love it.
Now we've officially lost Josh and Heather gets to blow out the mike screaming his name hysterically. And then there were two. The whole scene with them looking for Josh in the fucking dark is objectively scary but I don't see how it could've been in the movies. They can hear him screaming in pain, yeah this is the fuckedy fucked up shit. They can't even tell if it's Josh anymore, everything's totally fucked up. This is such a descent into madness. I can see the bloody tooth sitting in the ripped up flannel, yeah this was wasted on me at the movies.
The up-nose shot is pretty iconic. Heather's clearly had her brows waxed however because they're a little too neat to me but at least she doesn't look made up, she does put lipstick on for the interviews but now you can see she's not doing so hot. Looking away is helping me not get to nauseated. I think the witch is just fucking with them at this point. Also they got a lot of life on that camera torch too. This admittedly was a pretty scary part, I got the boogans right now, I don't even know whose house this is in reality. You can just hear Josh yelling. Having watched people play that game I can see where they ripped off most of those shots as well. It's kinda pointless them going all the way up to go down but it's cool and intense when the witch is obviously on their asses.
Yeah, that was a fun movie. My gut actually takes a second to get sick and it is now, so whoops on that front.
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