The other issue was, I own more CDs than I probably should because of this liking one song or assuming a song was on a soundtrack when it wasn’t, which was another annoying factor of liking songs from movies. I actually liked the Commitments two soundtracks, I was going to watch that the other day. In the end, I copied what I liked off all my compilations and soundtracks and sold them to the same people I rented CDs from. I still have a copy of Tori’s Under the Pink Australia Only CD. I could only cope having the songs I liked, and even then I was still missing out. I got away with the typical ways we all got music back then, but I sucked up to people I didn’t like who had CD burners and music I wanted. I wish I could’ve been able to compile everything easier than I did. I owned the fricken Encino Man soundtrack and took it to school to play a lot (I wasn’t supposed to take a walkman to school but I could take CDs). The Clueless soundtrack is pretty great but I didn’t hold onto it, I don’t think… I have the Singles and Say Anything… soundtracks, which I regret copying in the latter’s case because there’s a track on there I can’t find a digital version of. When I last had a CD ROM drive I didn’t rip everything I owned, including Glean by They Might Be Giants. I looked into buying an external drive but realised it’s actually cheaper to repurchase digital versions, and in the case of Oyster by Heather Nova, I got a song that was cut from the Australian release. I do like the Craft soundtrack but didn’t copy it either, I have regrets.
I resented paying for a YouTube subscription until I accepted I can access YouTube Music and use this instead of spending on iTunes. I only resent I can’t use a generic music app on my phone to play DRM music. If I could, I’d be happier but I’ll live with the circumstances and it does make more sense to make use of a subscription I’m already paying that keeps it ad free, which was my aversion to Spotify. I get pissed enough you have to put up with podcast ads now. I get why but I hate it.
But I was a simp for this stuff, you could really manipulate me if you had something sonic and I didn’t. I still believe in physical media and hoarding whatever digital files I can. I don’t know how to get access to downloaded songs from YouTube. But I have access. All I wanted was access to this shit, something I could keep for myself, and straight streaming made me feel like it wasn’t mine. I know it’s not mine on iTunes, I get it, but I’ll still store them on hard drive no matter what. I was going to list all the CDs I hoarded for the one or two songs I wanted, I couldn’t get singles either, when I did love an album despite only wanting one or two songs, this was a bonus. I did buy singles wherever I could, I kinda miss going hunting for singles, however having the ability to download an album and get instant gratification, it doesn’t mean as much to anyone who’s only known music in this form. I’ve had people send me things, my brother used to do mail exchanges for copies of rare tracks, bootlegs are still out there, and I do stress about these going missing since they’re so hard to find. Treasures. I do hoard these like flimsy trinkets in a bower bird’s nest. We had to stop and realise how kids now aren’t ever going to experience trying to find songs they want the way we had to. I went looking for a song I was obsessing over but I dumbly forgot to bookmark it and I’d have to think about how to find it again. I’d hear a song on Parker Lewis Can’t Lose and obsess over it until I found it. I end up on rambles about this which I’m sure I’ve done before, but I know how it feels to have a song in your head but you can’t remember the name or who sung it, or you pick the wrong artist or the title doesn’t match the chorus or line you remember. I’m getting tired thinking about it.
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