It’s also another movie I can quote verbatim, everyone brags about that now. When we were starved for entertainment in the 80s and 90s we were far more likely to watch shit over and over. I think I somehow got a copy of this and watched it at home when I was off school. And it had another one of those really well scored scenes I had to tape to keep and listen to, so finding these soundtracks on iTunes decades later has been so fucking amazing, I never would’ve come across them in a store near me, it’s what I can give props to digital outlets for. I think I have this on DVD but I’m watching it on YouTube for free.
Anyway, the 90s had a lot of romances (comedy and drama) where the male protagonists could get away with being “creepy” and “intense”, having said that, they weren’t out and out abusive like some characters are, and now women are into smut, I don’t know why you’d fault me for being into Christian Slater putting up a Christmas tree in Marisa Tomei’s bedroom. She also has to go through sexual assault to make him the hero i.e. all the other men in the film are worse than him, so whatever he does is good comparatively. What I can kinda deconstruct now is, it is kind of hard to prove what the hell Caroline and Adam have in common besides being social misfits. Caroline’s romantically challenged while Adam’s also “innocent”, so I’m sure if a Gen Z kid heard her say “he’s like a kid, but it’s nice” it would really bug them. (I also rewatched Fifth Element and you’re unfairly writing off Leeloo as a baby woman, she has agency and strength and thinks Bruce Willis is weaker than her). There haven’t been as many “baby men” characters I can think of, Adam’s still as strong as a grown man but he seems functionally helpless otherwise, like you have no idea if he’s actually tending to adult things, he eats ice cream, again you’re not supposed to overthink it, it’s meant to be “cute”. And he should’ve taken Caroline to a hospital, she had a concussion. I guess you can put Adam on par with Tarzan, they both have floppy, unkempt hair and are basically nonverbal at the start, and they have an affinity with apes.
But Adam’s been sneaking around and following Caroline under the guise of making sure she’s safe. Or needing to see what sleep looks like. And she has every right to think he’s sketchy at first, he stole a picture of her and lives in a basement that looks suspect from the outside. I think some kind of social service turfed him from the orphanage and got him a job and a shitty apartment. It doesn’t look like anywhere people would choose to live. Caroline living at home is actually more modern, nobody gives her shit for it, it kinda makes her a “loser” in the sense she’s not married with a house and she’s pushing “spinster” age. But nobody can afford to live in their own place on a waitress salary, or even a decent salary, they don’t find a new apartment, she just decides to buy a car instead and hang out in his apartment, she could’ve just moved in with him, really. Plus the Christmas tree actually convinces her Adam’s not so bad, again, deconstruct this, none of this would work in reality, the 90s really needed women to suspend their disbelief. He’s tapping into her inner child so it’s like they’re both very innocently falling in love, it’s cute if you take out all the implications. 90s movies were for distracting you from reality, not reminding you, well most movies were, it’s kinda sucky they’re constantly injecting reality into films now. I was so chronically obsessed with films like this.
The other “problematic” boyfriend is Lloyd Dobler, you have to go to great lengths to defend him even though people constantly reference that one scene, like Flashdance, you KNOW A REFERENCE TO IT, you NEVER FUCKING EVEN SAW THE DAMN MOVIE. Know how I know, Taylor? You think it’s a John Hughes movie. IT’S NOT. I really want to ask everyone who refers to that scene if they either know what movie it even is or if they actually saw it. Know how I also know? Most of the top searches on Google are asking WHAT IT WAS FROM and WHICH SONG WAS ON THE BOOMBOX (the answer differs depending on what was in the final cut and what played on the day of shooting, and guess what? I KNOW IT WASN’T PETER GABRIEL because I’VE SEEN THE GODDAMN MOVIE WITH THE DIRECTOR’S COMMENTARY). SEE. FUCK YOU. So you can’t even say you don’t love Lloyd I’m sure you’ve heard about it and think it’s creepy when it really isn’t.
Also, Lloyd doesn’t just feel Diane up the way Adam does to Caroline, but to be fair, he’s kinda doing it in a very innocent way, like he’s hesitant and kind of asking by his eyes if it’s okay and Caroline’s like totally into it, he’s not even doing it in a gropey kind of way. If anything, she’s more insistent than him. She kinda assumes they’re gonna bone and he’s not remotely there for that, so is all his other shit creepy in that regard? He’s got this look like, what the fuck is happening? She’s like, Imma make a man out of you, and then she pulls back when he cries, so I kinda wish incels would watch this damn movie and see it’s okay for men to fucking cry and have a woman like Caroline comfort them without feeling emasculated. On the other hand, I have a bad feeling they’d use it to justify their stalker, pining bullshit and think they were more sensitive than they are. (I actually do not remember seeing boobs before, I could’ve sworn she didn’t actually show them).
Anyway, she’s also super sensitive to his obvious Autistic traits of being uncomfortable around strangers, she’s very careful about bringing him out of his shell, so it’s nice to see so many people at his funeral in the end. She can’t even tell people in the beginning since Cindy gawps over it. (I also do a really good impression of Rosie Perez in this film but it’s stupid racist). She goes along with double date Cindy sets up, Cindy’s a pushy friend, they have this typical 90s gal pal relationship where they bicker over dumb shit but still love each other as family. Adam getting stabbed reveals how sick he is, which leads me to a realisation I made as an adult: That hockey game kinda killed him. Like, I know it’s not possible for Caroline to even know, I think all the excitement busts his heart. I didn’t think that as a kid. Either way, you can’t technically blame her as this is about bodily autonomy and the right not to be operated on, mans don’t want a new heart, you could even argue against Caroline agreeing to it while he was unconscious and unable to consent. So I think from this point on, they’re accepting this is finite and he could die basically whenever, even though he gets maybe a year, I don’t know. It’s still unexpected and sad when he does die. Also, he does little wood carvings you could sell on Etsy, that’d have been a nice modern twist.
Anyway, throw your anti-creep BS in the bin and just watch the movie, girl. You’ll see what I mean.
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