I can also see why every English teacher back in the 90s fucking despised this. All you had to say to one of them is, “And then Romeo takes drugs” and they’d lose their shit. I don’t know why I had to read parts out for this in English I kinda hated it, I couldn’t get away with being wrong in that class, ever.
The opening duel scene is too comical to be dramatic but too over the top as well. It actually feels like it’s ripping off Pulp Fiction. The orchestral music and quick zooms kind of work one second then fail to the next. But both soundtracks were straight fire. Listening to shit from that period, the 90s was peak soundtrack time. The acting could be so much worse so far. It’s also pointless to follow along with the play it’s actually butchered, and this is badly ADRed as well. Leo does not recite this well, I also found out Romeo is pronounced “incorrectly” to compensate for iambic pentameter. Given this is not a farce, it’s kind of infuriating it’s being presented as such. It does have comedic moments but I thought they were subtle. Baz is anything but subtle. And the Benny Hill speed-ups are just obnoxious, it lends to this obscene impatience he has with setting up his stories. It’s also a weird edit to have Juliet distracted by fireworks then suddenly fully dressed on the balcony staring at them. Again, his pacing is insane. Mercutio isn’t donning a wig one minute then all of a sudden it’s on his head.
Leo sucks in this. I’m sorry. And fuck me, Mercutio is on some shit there is no need for this level of theatrics. I think it was also heavily catering to the rave culture of the mid 90s, it’s very club kid coded too. And it’s insinuating Romeo’s off his tits on pills. Also these movies were borrowing a lot of disco, so kids my age were copping it in a resurgence, and they forced us to learn proper dances to it. I don’t think they do it now but someone convinced schools to teach us the Nutbush or boot scooting to the worst song of the 90s. The radio was festooned with all this shit but it wasn’t bad necessarily. Claire Danes carries this, meanwhile Paul Rudd looks sofa king hot I’d pick him over Leo any damn day. He’s at least a gentleman. He’s being such a delightful dork as he was in Clueless.
And it doesn’t look too saturated but the camera work is still distracting. At least the nurse pronounces his name correctly. Now I have to resist not downloading the damn soundtracks.
Also wherefore art thou doesn’t mean where is he but why he is, why does he have to be an enemy. I think Baz was told to tone down his silly bullshit for the romance scenes at least. Moulin Rouge overdid everything on that front, I think he thinks he’s doing operatic when he’s doing something more offensive ending in ‘tic’. The score hits harder, it’s a well done scene. I thought I was into Shakespeare in Love but it might be atrocious now, I don’t know.
The “foreshadowing” is stupid, since we know how it ends but they pull a fakeout. Did Romeo have to literally fall over again? Is he supposed to be this fucking clumsy? Then everything turns into a music video of Venice Beach. Man, the ADR on the beach set is so bad.
Quindon Tarver got completely dumped after this I didn’t know he died in an accident and he was the same age as me, but I can’t hear him sing “Everybody’s Free” without thinking of “Not the Sunscreen Song”.
The editing of the fight with Tybalt and Mercutio is all over the damn place. And Mercutio isn’t some god who can summon actual plagues. And the fake storm looks hella bad. There’s a wide shot of Romeo running off with a car, like suddenly we need wide shots to compensate for all the frenetic closeups. And I get Benvolio is supposed to be kind of a dude bro but it’s too much. Never trust anyone who tries to update Shakespeare for the kids.
It doesn’t suck. I’ll give it that, it doesn’t absolutely suck. It has hacked the whole thing to absolute shreds, again, for the kids.
Talk Show Host by Radiohead is one of their best tracks. I think the costuming works, it’s not flamboyant compared to what Baz likes to do, it’s less lurid and that’s saying something. I did like the neon aesthetic it had going for it.
I’m sure that amount of candles would produce some crazy amount of heat. Also, the Friar had more than enough time to intercept on Romeo offing himself before he realised Juliet wasn’t dead. And I’m sure the girlies were screaming when Romeo doesn’t see her move. And she takes way too long to get his attention.
And it does have a certain attention to detail, it’s extravagant the way drag and pageantry is always in excess. I’m not going to watch Great Gatsby I’ve heard it’s terrible, this gave Baz way too much leeway for his other projects. It was fine, I didn’t actually hate it at all, I assumed there was way more Benny Hill buffoonery and Nicole Kidman sucks at that, I’m sorry, she’s not capable of being fun or funny. John Leguizamo has some fun moments but he and Mercutio really ham it up, but overall it works. The operatic nature fits, it’s not well shot and edited but Baz likes to overdo it and kind of stun you into not noticing.
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